Speaker #0A few weeks ago, I woke up and I felt really guilty, which was strange because I couldn't figure out what I had done wrong. No one was waiting for me. Nobody was tracking my hours. Nobody was expecting me to clock in at a certain time. And then I realized what was happening. Even though I'd finally left corporate America after 11 years and become an entrepreneur, I was still carrying around that same set of rules that had made me feel boxed in in the first place. I had changed my life. but I hadn't changed the rule book. And once I realized that, I started noticing all these other little weird rules and beliefs that were following me into this next chapter. Things like feeling guilty if I didn't start working at 9am on the dot, feeling like I had to earn rest or fun, feeling like I was somehow going to get into trouble. And it got me thinking, how often do we start a brand new chapter of our lives, but bring the exact same rules that made us unhappy in the old one. So today we're going to talk about how to burn the old rulebook down and create a new one that actually has your name on it. Welcome to Unleash Your Inner Creative with Lauren LaGrasso. I'm Lauren LaGrasso. I'm a Webby Award winning podcast host and producer, singer, songwriter, and creative coach. And this show is meant to give you tools to claim your birthright to creativity and go after your wildest dreams. And I do want to remind you that I am a creative coach. and also a podcast consultant. So if you have a show you want to bring to life, a project that you want to do, or if you just could use a little bit more support in your creative journey, I would love to set up a free discovery call with you and see if working together could be a fit. You can reach out to me at laurenlagrasso.com slash contact, or email me lauren.lagrasso at gmail.com. Okay, now to today's topic, which is the new rule is There are no rules. If you have decided to live a new life and walk away from convention, as I recently have, don't bring the rules that once stifled you to your new journey. Start creating from scratch. So I have loved my journey to entrepreneurship. I have to say, yes, it's hard, but I've done a lot of hard things. I pursued my first four years in LA as a straight up artist working a million jobs and taking any acting or music gig I could get. Then I went into corporate America for 11 years, which had wonderful parts, but also really difficult parts. And now I'm going into entrepreneurship. So I've really seen the full spectrum of what hard can be and the different types of hard work and reward. And I have to say, my worst day as an entrepreneur thus far is better than my best day as an employee. And I think that's pretty powerful. pretty exciting. So I can't wait to keep bringing you along that journey. It's been to date my greatest creative journey yet. I'm sure having my baby will supersede that or it will be like in tandem with it. But long story short, it has been in a word, wonderful. And I love getting to be my own boss and control my destiny in a way I really haven't been able to ever before in my life. However, as I mentioned in the intro, there's something interesting I noticed about myself through this journey and some... old weird habits and rules that have been trailing along with me into my new life. So now one of my efforts is to make sure I don't bring those same rules that made me feel boxed in in corporate life into my new life. And my charge to you is if you have started any sort of new life, if you're reinventing yourself right now, whether you left a job that didn't quite serve you, you left a relationship that wasn't right, you left your religion of origin, you moved out of your hometown. Whatever it is, if you've left any of the conventions that boxed you in and you are reinventing your life and pursuing your life or relationships or work more creatively, then we need to make sure that we don't bring the old rules with us. And that's something that's really easy to do because you're just so used to living in that world, right? So for example, as I mentioned, one thing that really got me thinking about this is I was starting to feel guilt if I didn't start the workday at 9am on the dot. Now, let me be clear. There's days where I have started working since I've taken the leap at 6.30am. But I did let myself one or two days sleep in until 8.30am and I didn't start working until 10am. And I'm like, oh my gosh, that's so bad. I'm late. I'm not committed to this. And then I'm like, wait a damn second here, LaGrasso, who made up that rule? Like the 9 a.m. workday is an arbitrary start time that I don't know who made it up. I should look it up and get to the bottom of it. you're allowed to flow and start work whenever feels right and whenever fits for you and whenever you have clients that you need to prepare for. So that's just something that I have been thinking about a lot is like I dealt with so much guilt when I used to work a corporate job. And I still don't know why. Maybe it's my Catholic upbringing. But like I'm trying to in general shed guilt when it is around work. Work hard, but like not... bring any weird bad emotions to it and not just take on these rules that never really felt right to me, but were just like the way it was. You had to be available after 9am. So now I'm letting myself flow more. And yes, sometimes that means starting way earlier. Sometimes that means starting later. Sometimes that means taking a break in the middle of the day and then working again at night. Sometimes that means stopping work at four. There are no more rules. And so I'm not going to live by rules that some guy probably made like 100 years ago, because they were never for me. And they definitely didn't serve me in my old position. And they're not serving me now. For instance, I'm recording this at 9pm. Feels great. You know, I don't need to set myself to any strict time standard. And by the way, like if you follow human design, that's what it says I'm supposed to do is flow with my day. So okay, going through a few other rules that I was bringing from my corporate life into my new life. Feeling scared of getting in trouble and or living in fear or hiding because I'm afraid to be seen. So this is something that I know a lot of people who work in corporate America or who have a boss feel. And I have some ideas of where it comes in with me. We don't have long enough to get into that. But I constantly lived with a fear of getting in trouble or getting fired in my job, which It's pretty weird and crazy because I was really good at my job. And so anytime I would get a phone call, I'd be like, oh my gosh, what could it be? And it was always someone just asking me a question. But I kind of lived with this low-level anxiety at all times that the other shoe was going to drop and I was going to get in trouble. And then the other thing was a fear or a hiding because I was afraid to be seen. Because I do so many different things. Overall, everyone was really supportive there, but I was always afraid that I would like take one step too far and they'd be like, you can't do that anymore. You're bad. And so I still, sometimes I'm feeling that fear of being seen welling up inside of me and preventing me from maybe making a video or sharing a post on LinkedIn or sharing my wins that are happening in my business. I still feel like who's going to get mad on me? Who's going to tell me no? Who's going to reprimand me? And remembering that there's no principal's office anymore. There's no bosses anymore. And something that I've realized is there's a big difference between having a boss or manager and having a partner. And I just think that the feeling of having partners via my coaching and consulting business, via my speaking business, it feels so much healthier and more empowering to me than that power structure. And it has really like quelled the feeling of, oh my gosh, I'm in trouble. Like when my client reaches out to me, I want to get back to them. But I don't have this weird fear. I don't know. I don't know how exactly to describe it. But I always felt like, oh my gosh, I have to answer this right away. And if I don't, I'm going to get in trouble and things will be bad. It's like I now want to get back to people quickly because I want to instead of like. I'm scared that if I don't, something bad's going to happen, if that makes sense. And so yeah, like releasing that low level fear that I've had for at least 11 years and stepping into empowerment and partnership and pursuing things from a place of excitement and urgency because I'm excited about it versus because I'm afraid. And also showing up more online and being like, hey. Hear me roar. This is my voice. Another thing is feeling like I couldn't take a break in the middle of the day or take a moment to do something fun. You know, one rule I really realized I was still following from my old life was that productivity had to come before pleasure. And I do think it's good to start the day. You know, I have a very strict morning practice of meditation and prayer and journaling. But after that, I go right into work and I enjoy doing that. But sometimes the most productive thing I can do in the middle of the day is take a walk or watch a half hour of a reality show or play my music for a little bit. And again, this is an area where I used to feel a lot of guilt and shame and like I shouldn't be doing it. I thought it had to be earned and it was only after all of my work got done. And now what I really believe is that doing those kinds of things in the middle of the day or in times when you would think are like inappropriate for the workday actually fuel my productivity and help me to achieve more for the rest of the day because I didn't push through when I was already feeling burnt out. So that has been a great switch for me and something I'm really like reframing in my life is like the day doesn't have to be linear. The work doesn't have to be linear. Work for as long as it feels vital to you and then take a break and do something fun and creative or even just watch a reality show because that can be very energizing for me. So these are just a few examples. You're going to find yours in your life and there's small ones. I mean, there's other things that I'm still shedding. Like the other day, I went to the doctor's office. A lot of it really does have to do with I lived in a lot of fear. And I think it's so interesting because the whole time I worked a full time job, I felt like I couldn't take the leap because it would be too scary. And like, how could I trust myself? And like, what if it didn't work out? But the weird thing is, I really think I had that much fear because a lot of times when you're working in an environment with that, like they're kind of run. on fear. Like that is the fuel that feeds a lot of highly structured workplaces. And I'm not saying anything against my old workplace. I worked with lovely people. But like podcasting is just a high pressure business when you're working with like high profile individuals and getting out of show once or twice a week. Like it's just a lot. I always was like, Oh my gosh, someone's gonna call me and gonna need something and I'm gonna have to drop everything and go. And so one thing That's really interesting is I went to the doctors the other day and I couldn't believe how relaxed I felt. And I realized like, oh, every time I've gone to even a doctor's appointment, that was like totally fine for me to go to and no one ever gave me trouble about. I've been afraid that something was going to come in and I was going to need to rush home and finish it. And like I just was so not in control of my own destiny. And to be able to have the power to set full boundaries and be like, I'm sorry, I can't do that right now. It just feels different. Like even going to a doctor's appointment, I was like, oh, I didn't realize like how much stress this caused me in the past. Obviously, you're hearing that I'm still in the middle of this. But the thing I really want you to take away from this is if you're recreating your life, relationships, creativity, or career from scratch, first of all, notice what has sneakily maybe come with you from your old life and is still influencing. the new life you're trying to create. And then once you figure out what those parts are, those old parts, those old rules that no longer fit, shed them. Shed the rules and regulations that were never yours, that were written for you and handed to you, and then write your own. You don't need to bring those old rules from the past that made you feel boxed in into your new life. In fact, I encourage you to find and create new rituals for yourself. Let yourself even be in flow. Don't bring the rules of the past into the future that you're now creating because you get to create it from scratch. You've already been brave enough to make the choice to do this. So do it all the way. If we're choosing to live more authentically, that means making creativity the filter for our lives and for all of our choices. Creativity isn't just making art. Creativity is questioning assumptions. Creativity is deciding the old rules don't work anymore and inventing new ones. Creativity is building a life that actually fits who you are. Those are the makings of a truly creative life. You get to find out what works for you. You don't have to keep doing what you've been told you should do. So here's my call to you. I want to know what is a rule you used to live by that you've since unsubscribed from? What do you do now instead? Let me know in the comments on Spotify or YouTube. And just remember, Most rules we follow are fake, and sometimes they weren't even given to us. They're like just like weird little assumptions we made in order to survive. A lot of the things that I'm bringing up are things that I know, like I internalize over the years so that I could survive. So anyway, that's my little take for today. I'm working on reinventing my rules for my life as well as my entire career. And remember, you create the rules. If you're brave enough to start a new chapter, be brave enough to question the rules too. You don't have to bring past convention along with you. It's time for innovation. And if this resonated with you, congratulations on starting your new life. I love that for you. I love that for us. Thank you so much for listening and being part of my new life as a full-time creative business owner. Your support means the world. If this episode resonated, send it to a fellow creative, share it on socials, give us a rating review on Apple Podcasts and a rating on Spotify. You can find us at Unleash Your Inner Creative and at Lauren LaGrasso. If you want to work with me as a creative coaching client or podcast consulting client, reach out on my website's contact page or email me lauren.lagrasso at gmail.com. Unleash Your Inner Creative is executive produced and hosted by me, Lauren LaGrasso, with music by Liz Full. I love you and I believe in you. Break some rules today and write new ones that are way better. Bye.
