- Speaker #0
Are you tired? Tired of hustle culture, of working around the clock, and still not feeling fully satisfied or getting where you want to go with your creativity or your life in general? What if I told you there was a way to achieve success without sacrificing your well-being and without hard work? If this sounds too good to be true, stay tuned because today's guest proves that this could be our new reality. She will share her journey from burnout to abundance and how you can shake off societal conditioning, tap into your truest self, and create success on your own terms. Welcome to Unleash Your Inner Creative with Lauren LaGrasso. I'm Lauren LaGrasso. I'm a Webby Award-winning podcast host and producer, singer-songwriter, public speaker, and creative coach. This show sits at the intersection of creativity, mental health, self-development, and spirituality, and it is meant to give you tools to love, trust, and know yourself enough to claim your right to creativity. and pursue whatever it is that's on your heart. Today's guest is Petia Kolobova. She's an abundance coach who guides women to intuitively connect with their inner vision so they can experience personal and professional magnetism and become unapologetically abundant. Yes, queen. I wanted to have Petia on the podcast because of her unique way of blending spirituality, personal development, and business strategy to help you redefine success and live a fulfilling life. Her insights on aligning with one's inner vision are truly transformative. From today's chat, you'll learn the importance of connecting with your inner vision, the dangers of hustle culture and how redefining success can lead to a more fulfilling life, how to move through and out of burnout, and practical steps for transitioning from chasing clients to attracting them organically. Okay, now here she is, Petia Kolobova. Hedia, thank you so much for being here. I am so excited to have you on Unleash Your Inner Creative. You're such a great insight and I'm really excited to share it.
- Speaker #1
Thank you so much. I'm so happy to be here and what a fantastic show. I'm really honored.
- Speaker #0
Oh, thank you so much. So I love your mission statement that you help women intuitively connect with their inner vision so they can experience personal and professional magnetism and become unapologetically abundant. That sounds like the dream. First, before we get into it, what is inner vision?
- Speaker #1
I love that you are asking because so often people just read it and really don't pass. So I really love that you are going deeper on that. And the inner vision is the inner knowing. Like when you know that you are meant for more and you can kind of just like feel it. Sometimes we can picture it. Sometimes it's like what we are dreaming about. But we don't know how to bring it to life. We don't know how to bring the non-physical into the physical. We are in that state of like, wouldn't it be nice? Wouldn't it be nice to have this house? Wouldn't it be nice to work only two days a week? Wouldn't it be nice? There is this feeling I'm meant for more than just doing what everybody else is doing and just following the crowd and being nine to five. There is this beautiful inner knowing and you just got to learn. how to bring this inner vision out so you can live it, so you can embody it, so you can have that. So it's not just a dream. So it's not just a vision board. You are living it and you are being it.
- Speaker #0
Beautiful. And I know you have a journey to how you've done that in your own life because I always say we teach what we most need to learn. And I know that this lesson for you was something that you went through yourself so that you could share it with others. Can you share a little bit about your journey, how you went from being burnt out, being tired, not feeling successful, to now living this abundant life?
- Speaker #1
I love how you said that we teach what we needed to learn the most. Because when people ask me, why did I become a business mentor for women? I said, I became the one that I needed myself. And it's not just like a business mentor. I needed something more than that. Because at the beginning of my journey, I hired a woman who was a business coach. I love what she got in her life. But what I realized later on, I didn't like how she got there. She was single. She was always working. She was like seven days, you know, like hustling, working hard, always launching. And I'm like, I don't want to do that. And that was even before I became a mother. I'm like, I don't want to do that. I don't want to be slave to my phone. I don't want to be launching every month. And it was just so much hard work. And so I started to pick up the bits and the pieces of what I wish that existed. And I started to look at other women. And instead of what I used to do, it's comparing myself with them. Like, oh, she's successful. Like, of course she is. She's prettier or she's smarter or she has a husband who can support her and she can do whatever she wants. Instead of comparing myself with them, I look at them. I'm like, wow, this is amazing. Like, I never thought about it this way. Or, oh, I never thought about doing this. So I started to do those things like studying on podcasts, doing live events, doing retreats, doing workshops, doing VIP days and weekends, because suddenly there was this idea and inspiration. And I started to do that. And I started to blend the things that I love the most about women and my mentors and coaches and programs, but in my own way, in my own essence. But I also learned what I don't want to do. Oh, and how I don't want to treat my clients. Like I had a mentor and I would like email her with a question. Like if I was launching something or going through some just mindset stuff, you know, like I was feeling stuck and she would reply to me in like two or three days. And I'm like, well, in three days, I don't have this problem. And when I was hiring her, I was under impression she would apply within 24 hours. And if it would be once, I'm like, yeah, she was traveling or was a weekend. I get that. But I learned a lot on how I. don't want to do things and through the contrast. So I became the one that I needed in my life, someone who can hold me and create a safe space for me to express myself, to live the wild dreams and not think that I'm crazy or not think that I have to do it exactly how they did it or I won't get there. So I started to do that and I started to learn about modalities that I was very curious about. So that's how I became the one who I am today. And this is like the newer, but the older was living in a small country with unpronounceable name, with the vision only of, you know, getting drunk, living for the weekend, living for the vacation once a year, having two and a half kids, resenting my husband. Like, that's what I saw. Like, that was like everybody around me. I didn't have examples of... Forget the entrepreneurship. I never wanted to be entrepreneur because entrepreneurs back then, I was thinking it's like, you got to sacrifice your family. You got to sacrifice your health. And very often still, I see that they're around me, but now I see different possibilities too. And I was struggling. I just felt like I never belong in Czech Republic. That's where I was born. And I never felt like seen and understood. And I felt like the black sheep, like the crazy one. Am I the only one? That was what I was feeling most of the time. So I started to travel. I live in London. I live in Spain. I live in Mexico. I live in the United States. Now I'm home in the United States. But even with a lot of traveling and living in different places, I realized wherever you go, you take yourself with you.
- Speaker #0
Yep.
- Speaker #1
You bring those problems. You bring those toxic relationships. It goes everywhere you move. So then I realized I get to start changing from within. And the first thing was my mindset, because I struggled with depression, anxiety, eating disorder, attempt of suicide, because I didn't like the life I was living. But most importantly, and most sadly, I didn't like who I was. And that's really hard to live with. Because you can say like, you know, my partner sucks or my work sucks. You complain to your friends over a bottle of wine or two. But if you don't like yourself, how do you live? That was the hardest.
- Speaker #0
Yeah. I mean, that's a challenge because that's the one relationship we know for sure will be in forever. And I'm so interested how you did do it because I'm hearing so many things and there's a million directions we could go in from your story. But one thing I'm really hearing is how much conditioning you had to shed. And you can know what you need to do. You can know the mindset shift you need to make. But the how is really difficult. Or it can be. And so I'm wondering, how did you actually, for instance, like redefine for yourself that success only comes from hard work? Because that's something I've seen you say a lot on the different interviews I've listened to on your Instagram is talking about how you've released this need to think the only way for me to be successful is to grind and work hard and go, go, go. Could you take us through how you let go of that limiting belief and how others listening can do the same?
- Speaker #1
Yeah, I love that so much. Thank you so much for asking that question. And for me, it was realizing that this is not the way. I was working really hard. My first business was social media marketing agency, and I literally worked seven days a week. I was falling asleep with a face on my laptop, with a phone in my hand. I had such a FOMO that somebody will message me and I will miss a client or I will miss a deadline. And I was living in so much scarcity. And so... I was sick all the time, like physically sick because I would hustle and I would work hard and I would make money. And then like my body would just shut off and I would have like fever and I would have like, you know, like sore throat and things like that because my body's like, this is unsustainable. We cannot do this. But I would keep going through these cycles and it just wasn't working. So what I did, then what started to working and honestly, I feel like it wasn't even my doing and my consciousness. It was. whatever you want to believe, God, source, universe, kicked my booty and say, girl, this is not a way. So when I was still back in school, because I was working full-time in a corporate, I was going to school to get my bachelor's in marketing and then MBA business administration. And I was doing my first business, social media marketing agency. And I was also personal trainer on the side. Oh yeah. Talk about hustling hard work because I just, felt like so undeserving and it has to like come the hard way. If not, like if it's easy, it's like you're taking advantage of someone. So one time I was traveling to a weekend with my back then ex-boyfriend and he had a cabin in woods and, you know, like beautiful house. And we would go there for a weekend and it's gorgeous place, lot of nature, a lake, wild horses, you know, like burros, super amazing. But I would go there with the head down and I'm like, I have a paperwork for school and I have to post for my clients and blah, blah, blah, a million things to do. So I'm like, we'll just have some fun in the evening. Maybe we'll just have a dinner or barbecue or something. And we arrived there and the Wi-Fi wasn't working. Mind you, this is in the mountains, in the woods. Lucky as that there was electricity, right? But the internet wasn't working and I had complete meltdown. Oh my gosh, I could not even talk. Like how terrified I was. My clients will fire me. I won't be able to finish my paper for work. I couldn't even breathe. And so I'm like, well, there's nothing I can literally do. Like I was panicking. So I grabbed my dog. We went for a walk and nature calmed me down. I didn't plan for this, but I was sitting there by the lake with my dog, just watching her how like, she was so happy. She was so happy. And I was happy just watching her. I was like, my gosh, this is awesome. Hour and a half later, I come back, internet is working, and I finished what I would normally do in days. I finished it in just a couple hours. And I felt so productive and so energized. I was like, oh, maybe I need a break. Maybe I'm not meant to work 24-7. So that was like the first aha moment when I started to incorporate more me time. When I would stop sleeping with my phone, which was huge back then for me.
- Speaker #0
That's huge for people. anytime I feel like in the last decade to not sleep with your phone. It's like revolutionary.
- Speaker #1
Isn't it crazy though? Like when you like realize how much EMF like it goes into your body and how it interrupts your sleep and your health and your well being and just you feel bad. Like they did the tests there. You know, I was watching it online. And they were like measuring your energy and electric field around you. And when you had a phone and it was just like, you weren't even using it. It was just close by you. Your well-being and your energetic level decreased by 20%.
- Speaker #0
Wow.
- Speaker #1
And that was just like having the phone around you. And we're every day in front of our computers, phone on us, working from our phones. Thank goodness for technology, of course. Like many of us, we have online businesses, but we never create the space to disconnect and to be by ourselves. So I started to do that. Going to the park with my dog, just doing picnics by myself, you know, and just reading books. And I started to feel better and I started to feel more productive. And then around five years ago, I went to visit my grandma and she's not here with anymore with us, but she was my soulmate. I love her to life. I was calling her every single day. I always told her, you can never, ever, ever leave because you are my psychologist for free. And I cannot afford anyone like that every day. And when I started to make money, then she died. I was like, oh, she made me throw that.
- Speaker #0
She was like, okay, my work here is done.
- Speaker #1
Yeah, like you can afford now anything and anyone you want. I'm just joking about it. But it was like really hard for me. But when I went to visit her, like really my intention was be fully present to her. And so I did that. I literally worked only when she was napping or when she was baking. And I was walking her dog and I was outside a lot. And on my social media, I was just sharing my life. Like, of course, I was still coaching, but I was sharing like me baking with grandma, me picking up fruit with grandma, me like working just, you know, a couple hours a day. And funny enough, that was the first month I ever have done five figures.
- Speaker #0
Wow.
- Speaker #1
I've let go of everything else. I stopped doing social media, like social media agency. I was focusing on just coaching women. I let go of being personal trainer. I let go of, I used to have a TV show here in Las Vegas called Inner Beauty with Petia. I let go of everything and focus on one thing. And I really prioritized what mattered to me. And I knew my grandma wouldn't be here forever. I wish she would, but I knew deep inside she wouldn't. And so I wanted to really enjoy the time. And that's when women start like inquiring about working with me. Like, I love like how you're doing it. And I love my grandma too. I miss my grandma too. And they started to see me differently. And that was the month that I worked the least amount of time in my life. Like I literally worked a couple hours.
- Speaker #0
That is amazing. So for somebody listening right now to Petya's story, if you're listening out there and you too have really bought into the hard work. in the hustle culture and grinding, grinding, grinding, and you're burnt out. It sounds like Petya, the first step they should take is reconnecting with nature and themselves, and then starting to experiment with working less and seeing what happens. Would you say that's a good way in? Are there any other tips you have for somebody who's going through this and trying to release that feeling like they have to work themselves to the bone to be successful?
- Speaker #1
I love how you described it. And absolutely, that's like a key and foundation. And the next thing I would look at and something that I always work with my clients is, why do you believe that? Like, why do you ever believe it has to be hard work? Why do you believe that you need to hustle? Because you have seen it somewhere. It's the conditioning that you mentioned. And we get to know where did it start at? And even if you cannot go dead back and like, I don't remember, like, I don't know, get it all out from your head, get it all on paper. I always tell my clients to look at your life, look at the results. Do you love it? If you love it, please double down. But if you don't, what would you prefer instead? Like I used to work seven days a week and I was always glued to my phone and I was chasing clients. And I was always trying to prove myself like, hire me, hire me. I will save you. I will save your life. And now I'm like, I'm not here to fix anyone. I'm not here to save anyone. I am living a fulfilling and rich life. And if you want to come with me so I can guide you to what it could be like for you, your way, not my way. You cannot do my way. My life, it's my life. My way, it's my way. But I guide my clients to their own way, to their own definition of success and richness. So you get to first get really clear on where are you right now? And if you don't want to be here, what would you prefer? What would you like instead? You get to have a clarity on what you desire. And remember that your desires are divine. They're put on your heart for a reason. Because there might be people like, Petya, but I love it. Like, I really love working. And like, I love it. It makes me feel alive. Please do it. If it does, make sure that you nourish yourself in a process and that you create a space for living, that it's not only hard work because you know, then you might end up being alone. But if you're like, I absolutely love working, that's like life giving to me, that's my purpose, that it's like, so enlivening, please do that. But you're not going to do it 24 seven. I feel like I used to do it 24 seven. Like, I feel like I was working in my sleep too, you know? But if you're like, well, wouldn't it be nice if I would have more time to like be on the weekend with family or go out for lunch with friends? or do a Pilates class in the morning. Like, what do you want? What do you want your life to be? Because when you can get clear on what do you want your life to be, then you can start creating the foundation, whether you have a business or whether you're in a job, it doesn't matter. I work with a lot of entrepreneurs, but even like people in their job, like start shifting that mindset, start shifting those beliefs and get to know yourself on a depth. that you have never knew yourself before. What really helped me was human design. That's a modality that I'm obsessed with and I love using it. Anyone I meet, like if somebody wants to come on my team or work with me one-on-one, I'm like, okay, when is your birthday? It's like the new introduction, you know, like, can I have your birth time and birthday, then birthplace, like before we go any deeper. It helped me tremendously. It gave me the permission to be me. It helped me to release that conditioning and comparing myself with others.
- Speaker #0
What's your design?
- Speaker #1
Well, what do you think it is?
- Speaker #0
Well, I'm assuming you're either a projector or a manifester.
- Speaker #1
And I'm a generator.
- Speaker #0
I'm shocked by that just because of the work component of it.
- Speaker #1
And it's beautiful that you're saying it because generators are meant to be working, right? And I'm sacral. I'm five-pound sacral. One, I feel like I have a soul of projector because I never wanted to work too much. But also like looking into my channels, like going deeper, what I understood, like I am here to find a shortcut and teach about it.
- Speaker #0
Oh, love that.
- Speaker #1
You see, so it's not like I used to think I'm lazy. I'm like, what's wrong? And listen, I used to have four jobs. Like I'm the last person you could like call lazy. I used to have like four jobs and side hustles. But I was like so frustrated because it was so much.
- Speaker #0
Especially our country has to revamp the way we do work in general. I'm so happy you're showing a different way. I'm a projector, but I'm somebody who. fully bought into hustle culture. I used to work like 18 hour days a few years ago. I've gotten much better. I want to get on your level. That's my next step. But I'm asking all these questions because like I'm finally fully starting to embody it. When I first heard about human design, Petia, because I was so fully bought into hustle culture, when I found out what a projector was and I had to wait for the invitation and only work this limited number of hours a day, I was like, this is bullshit. That was literally what I said to my friend. But now I've just, after years of studying it, because it was always calling me, but I had like an antagonistic relationship with it. And after years of studying it, I'm starting to feel so freed by it. And I'm like, oh, it could be easier. And it should be easier. And why have I put these limits on what I think I can have? Like, I can open myself up to so much bigger and more beautiful of a life. If I just allow myself to ease into who I really am, instead of trying to fit into this box of what I've been told is good.
- Speaker #1
I love that for you to be projector. When I have projector clients, they're like, oh, I hate being projector. I don't want to wait for invitations. I want to start things. And I love projectors because they have such a deep wisdom and they can feel and see into things and they see the better way. So I have a huge respect for projectors. My best friend is projector. And She's also into human design. So it is so beautiful. And I feel like with the time when you give it a chance, it can be framed. Because like you said, like it used to be calling me. I was like, no, it's like one more thing to do. I don't want to study anything else. But then it just kept coming. And I'm like, okay, okay. And then I'm obsessed with it. It is so beautiful and so amazing. And it helps you see the world in more depth and support. people in different way like when you know someone is projector or manifester or whatever I worked even with a couple reflectors you just see them differently and when people feel seen I feel like they soften and I think especially in the hustle culture like when they come to me and like Petia like I want to scale my business I want to do more money I want to travel more I want to have more freedom But the very last thing they're thinking about, it's suiting and softening and working on their nervous system. And that's where we're starting usually. Stepping into more feminine energy and just allowing themselves to receive and allowing themselves, it can be easier. Listen, entrepreneurship, it's not easy. It's not. I'm not going to lie. I'm not going to tell you like, come with me. You will make $100,000 in five minutes after you hire me and you will never work a minute in your life. That's BS, right? Like. I don't like even when people are doing these huge claims. Entrepreneurship can be challenging. But you know, what is the alternative? Like this rising, you know, like I had such a beautiful morning with my daughter and with my mom. And what I'm doing for work today, it's two interviews. That's my work. And then of course, like I check out on my clients and Telegram Boxer. I talk to my team. But if I will, quote unquote, work today two hours, that's it. I work with my one-on-one clients. I'm launching a group next week, six months program, where I will show up once a month and, you know, do group coaching. But that's it. Because I allow myself, I declare it can be simpler. And I cannot imagine the alternative. My daughter, it's 13 months. And they're a woman. And it's freaking breaking my heart. Because, you know, here in the United States, like they're a woman who have a baby and they have to go back to work in six or 12 weeks. That's freaking insane. And Bob. Puppies have to stay with the babies like, you know, 12 weeks minimum. You cannot sell a puppy before 12 weeks old. It's illegal. But we take mothers away from their babies in six weeks. It's upsetting to me. And it's just like, and you don't even have any money here. At least in where I'm coming from Europe, you have one to four years paid maternity leave.
- Speaker #0
One to four?
- Speaker #1
Yeah, one to four. You can choose if you want all the money in one year or if you want to just distribute it for years. So stay at home with four years with your baby. And so it's just like, I am so grateful that I have built a business when I'm literally working. Under 10 hours a week and 10 hours would be like busy week for me. And I'm with my family and I'm with my daughter and I'm seeing all her first. Like today we took my mom for a pedicure. I retire my mom. I flew her from Europe. She's here with United States, you know, with us three months here, three months there, because she loves being there in Czechia. But I took her to pedicure. We went to the park. We went to farmer's market. I took our daughter to chiropractor, you know, just, you know, we're doing adjustments for her. And just like spend all day with her. Then I do two interviews. I check up on my clients. I tell my team what to do. And that's it. And I'm making five and multiple five-figure months. But because I declare it, because I embody it, because I become that, I became that energy. I focus on the frequency first, the strategy second. There is so much information out there. And you know it. Just go and ask Uncle Google, how do I create 10K months? How do I grow my business? How do I start a podcast? Everything is there. frequency first.
- Speaker #0
So how do you know how to get into the frequency? Like you name the frequency and then what?
- Speaker #1
I love that question. And so I would rewind and say, what is your dream life? You remember how I told you, you get to get really clear on how do you want to live? That is the beginning. You connect with that inner vision. You connect with that dream. Instead of waking up and connecting to the world and connecting to your phone and connecting to everything and everyone else. Connect with yourself, connect with your vision, connect with that inner knowing. So first comes the frequency. That's the energy. That's who do you choose to be?
- Speaker #0
Because the version of you that is making $2,000 a month and is hustling and working hard and coming frustrated home at 7 p.m., making dinner for family and falling asleep by the TV, it's a different energy and different frequency than the woman who knows that she is deserving and worthy to be paid generously, abundantly for her gifts. That she does... only what she wants to do. And of course, like there are things that we don't want to do and we do them anyway, like taxes and stuff.
- Speaker #1
Yeah. I mean that you have to do.
- Speaker #0
Yeah. We get to do that. You step into that frequency, like you step into that embodied version. First, you got to know what do you want? When you know what do you want? Like, what do the version do? The version of me who used to be hustling and working hard was living in scarcity. The version of me who knows that I'm attracting the perfect people at the perfect time and the perfect opportunities is more relaxed. It's more peaceful. She walks in fate. She doesn't walk in fear. She's not chasing clients. She's attracting clients.
- Speaker #1
Hey, Creative Cutie. I want to tell you about a podcast I love called Well Adjusting on the Edit Audio Network. The show is hosted by award-winning actor, comedian, and author Robin Hopkins. Join Robin as she speaks to real people about the real questions that many of us face, from how to find work-life balance to dealing with generational money trauma. Uh-oh, I need that one. To grief or even finding common ground with family across the political divide. I think everybody in the United States of America needs that episode. Well, adjusting isn't afraid to get personal or honest about the tough stuff in life. Think less therapist couch and NPR and more chatting through a problem with a friend over cocktails. Whether you're looking for advice on how to manage stress, set some boundaries, or just a reminder that we're all figuring it out one day at a time, Well Adjusting is for you. And let me just say, I know Robin personally. She is somebody you want to talk to, you want to trust, you want to come back to time after time. Love her. We're also going to be doing each other's shows coming up. So you want to check out this show. Follow Well Adjusting on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Okay, now back to the show. What's the difference between those two things? Could you define that? What they look like in action, chasing versus attracting?
- Speaker #0
Yes, I can describe it very well because I have done the chasing most of my life. Chasing is when you are going after people and trying to, I don't want to even say force them, but like push them. Like you have to come with me. You have to come with me. There is this fear inside that you're not good enough. and you have to prove yourself and you have to like go after people. Meaning it's almost like this door to door forcing people. It's the cold DMs. It's, you know, the self-schools that you are like trembling, like, will people hire me or not? Because I got to pay my rent, right? That's the chasing because you're in an energy of scarcity. You're afraid that if you're not always online, if you're not always plugged in, you will miss out. that people won't see you, that people won't come. When you're attracting, you're being you and you're doing the work. You're doing the inner work. You're doing the meditation. You're doing the visualization. You're doing the journaling. You're looking and connecting with that vision of your life that you want to be living. You're looking at how I want to live and how can my business support it. And you're in trust. You know that, hey, I have figured it out in the past. I'll figure it out again. I'm resourceful. I know that people want to be in my energy. I know that people want to like learn from me. They want to be with me. They want to pay me. It's different because you're looking for the proof. You're looking for the evidence, what is working. And that evidence gives you confidence. And this is what I'm teaching my clients. The confidence converts. Just think about it. Like, have you ever, and this is a question about, have you ever been in a relationship?
- Speaker #1
Oh yeah. I just got engaged.
- Speaker #0
Woohoo! Congratulations. Oh, that's beautiful. I'm so happy for you. That's beautiful. So you've been in a relationship and I bet probably this wasn't the first one, right? I know it's the last one.
- Speaker #1
Oh yeah. It's the first good one.
- Speaker #0
Welcome to the club. Thank God I met my husband. He was the first good one too. But let's look at the past ones. Imagine you're in a relationship and this person keeps texting you and calling you and you go to take a shower and you have 20 missed calls and he's like where are you what are you doing why are you not answering do you want to be in the relationship like that no i'm scared exactly but this is sometimes what we are doing in our business and in our life and with our clients this is the chasing you're not trusting with your fiance imagine that for example like you You go and you go shopping with your girlfriends and you have a missed call from your boyfriend, sorry, fiance now. And you call him like a couple of hours later and there is ease and there's a peace. Oh my gosh, you won't believe what I found for our bridal shower and wedding. And he's excited to hear about it. There is a communication. There is understanding. There is a respect. There is a love. There is a knowing. You know he's not going to freak out that you didn't answer for two hours. And you're not going to freak out if he doesn't going to pick up the phone right away. There is a love. There is a respect. There is a support. There is a knowing. You trust that person. We have to do that with our clients. We have to do that with opportunities. We have to do it with our money, relationship with money. It's something that I'm teaching my clients too, because I don't know about you, but I was never taught about that. We never talk about money in my family.
- Speaker #1
But the things that you were taught, or at least myself, like the things I was taught were not things that... I would like to carry on. Talk to me about that, Petia, because I know it's something you're really passionate about. How does one begin to start to rewrite their money story and build a better relationship with money?
- Speaker #0
You have the best questions ever. I'm so happy this is recorded because I want to like share it everywhere. And this is so brilliant. I'm like, I want to even share it on my podcast. This is so amazing. And I love how you're asking how to start rewiring. the money stories, right? First of all, you got to know what your money stories are. Because I used to think like, my beliefs was it's really hard to make money. And this is something that I have learned through and I will share how but through like building my relationship with money. Because I have realized that I didn't feel safe making money. Because even when I made money, listen, you would love me so much like a decade ago, because I would like go and I would buy like clothes for my friends, and I would buy like barbecues and drinks. I was the one who was always paying everything for everyone. I didn't feel safe holding on the money. One, I felt that I have to be buying love because if I don't pay, why would people be with me? No worthiness, no self-esteem, no self-love, no nothing. So I was feeling that, well, if I have the money and I pay, everybody will like me, which they did. But how much of it was just like the good times, right? Right. Thankfully, I had some friends who were like, I don't care, let me pay. But it was a little bit rarer back then. But I was really outsourcing my worthiness. I didn't feel safe with money. And I realized it was because the people that I saw having money, they were not good people. My stepfather was physically and mentally abusive. Politicians in my country were rich and always stealing money from people and taking advantage of people. So I was afraid if I will have money, the people will take advantage of me. I was afraid. or I will become bad person, or I will just take away from somebody else. Because I was thinking like, it's like a pie, right? Like you cut a piece and you eat it. And you know, a poor baby, like kids cannot eat a pie because I had a piece of pie. So I lived in a lot of scarcity, but this wasn't conscious. I never realized that I was just doing it, but it was just like going through the motions. And I was also doing a lot of shopping therapy. I hated my job. I hated being corporate. And it was so much work. And I worked so hard that when I got the paycheck or I get bonuses, I'm like, well, I deserve this. And I would just walk into the Lululemon and, you know, like invest their $500 and go to buy T-vanities and $200. Like I was so fast with money. But honestly, back then I was treating money as a booty call. Now I want you. Now I don't. Now I care. Now I don't. You know, it was just like terrible. And I realized. The way I was treating money, like my mentor once asked me, like, what if you personify money? Would you like to be treated like you treat it? I'm like, oh my gosh.
- Speaker #1
Ooh, that is good.
- Speaker #0
Yes. And later I just got goosebumps because no, I don't. I was mistreating it, disrespecting it, never talk to it, never look at it. I never look at my statements. I just like, I either have money or I don't, but I never like. Like, how much am I making? How much am I spending? Forget it. And then back, my first mentor, he was like, I want you to sit down and this will be really painful, but print out three months of all your monthly statements from your bank and highlight what you're spending on. Groceries, gas, shopping, you know, eating out, everything. And I was shocked. I had no idea, Lauren. I had no idea. So I started to redefine my relationship with money. I had to create one. So I started dating money. I created weekly dates with money. Because think about it. You're engaged now. And now think about it. What if you talk to your fiancé? once in three months and you just yell at him like where have you been i needed you more like you're never enough what's wrong with you why don't you come why don't you stay more how long do you think you would be engaged i don't even know if you would be good no i mean if i didn't talk to him in three months bye but this is what we are doing to money yeah our statements we don't look where we are we don't create common plans like aren't you so excited to be planning your wedding yeah Now imagine we don't plan anything with money. And right now I'm not even on the financial part, like do your ROI and do your 401k and investments. No, just in a simple way. What do we want to do this month? What do I want to invest in? What are my short-term and long-term goals? We completely ignore money. And then we are wondering why we never have enough. What if your partner makes you feel you're never enough? Are you going to be showing up lovingly?
- Speaker #1
No.
- Speaker #0
You see, and this is what we were doing money. I was doing it to money. I had to redefine it. I had to change it. So I started to do week. And honestly, my husband has to like, he literally, back then he was my boyfriend. He had to force me to do that. I didn't want to do it. It was so uncomfortable. I didn't want to do it. And I was doing it the wrong way too. Because the way I was thinking I have to do it is just like. look at what I'm spending, look what I'm making and just make a budget. And I hated it.
- Speaker #1
Yeah. So tell me how you got around that because budgeting has never been my thing. I always say I go off of vibes, but I do think having some sort of, I like the way you're putting it because it's more holistic. That sounds fun and doable to me versus like, this is how much I can spend on this. And this is how much I can, you know, so tell me about that. How do you budget, but not budget?
- Speaker #0
I love that. Yeah. And You know, in human design, I'm more passive. So I'm more feminine. So for me, like doing a budgeting and strategies and planning is just like, can I do it? Yeah, but I don't like it.
- Speaker #1
Do you know that from the arrows? How do you know that?
- Speaker #0
Yes. So the arrow.
- Speaker #1
I'm going toward the right. So is that me too?
- Speaker #0
Feminine.
- Speaker #1
Okay, cool. Except for manifestation, I go toward the left.
- Speaker #0
Me too. Three to the right and one to the left. Yeah. One specific professor. So are you then? So I love that. knowing this, like what is my natural way and easier way? My husband, it's more masculine, more analytical, more strategic, which is fantastic because he does things I don't want to do. Like, you know, my, my websites and funnels and things like that. And he does it for my clients. So as like fractional chef operational officer, so I can focus on the things I love and money-making activities. So how I did that is. Before I even got to the numbers, I had to cultivate the relationship with money. So every single week I would write a letter to money. Just how I feel, what came up, and also what it made me want to pull back. Because in every relationship, there is a point that you just want to pull back. You're wondering, wouldn't I be better alone? We all have those moments, no matter how much we love our partners. Maybe they're snoring or maybe they just left the towel on the floor or they didn't do dishes because we want them to do it right away. So there are moments that we want to pull back. So I write it down, how I felt, you know, what I'm celebrating. And then I look at short-term goals and long-term goals. That's the vision. I'm bringing it to life. What I'm calling in, what would I love to experiment and experience? And funny enough, when I started to do these dates, my short-term goals and long-term goals, like right now, it seems like a check, you know, like checkboard, But back then, for me, it was like an attainable dream. I couldn't imagine that. And all those long-term goals, besides buying a home for my grandma, I didn't have time for that. She passed, unfortunately. I will do that with my mom anyways. But everything else that I thought it's like too far-fetched, I don't even know how I would do that. I'm living it now because I set that intention and I put a pen on paper. So short-term goals, long-term goals. And then I also started like a daydreaming. When I have more than enough money, what am I investing in? And that was such a fun exercise. I said like I would buy all the organic foods and I would be wearing more like cotton and bamboo clothes, you know, no polyester. I would have massages. I would be working with a mentor. I would be spending more time adventuring with family and traveling and like so many other things. And I have them all now. So declaring it. So first was the relationship building, daydreaming, vision casting. And then after that, I would look at my weekly income, my weekly investments. And yes, it is tracking. But when you're doing it weekly or daily, I love plugging into income. You know, it's just like when it comes, like you want to plug it in because it's growing. It's just exciting. It's different energy. It's not like I'm budgeting. Like I have my vision and I know that this is the minimum I get to make in my business. This is the ideal I want to do in my business. And I go of that and it feels freeing and not constricting because it's more of, wouldn't it be nice?
- Speaker #1
Oh, yeah. So beautiful. I mean, I could talk to you for hours about anything. I feel like, is there any final thought you would like to leave my listeners with about anything that you talk on, whether it's building your intuition, abundance, honing in on your authenticity? Like, what do you feel called to say right now to somebody who's listening, sitting at home?
- Speaker #0
I feel like that's what's coming really through right now. It's like we really get to redefine richness. We really get to redefine not only what do we get, but how do we get there? And this is something that I'm so passionate about teaching. We can create soulful success when you're feeling energized and alive and on purpose and still be abundantly paid for it. This is something that I'm teaching in my group coaching program, how to create soulful success. And I feel like it's going against the grain and I'm 5'1". in human design. So the five is here to be the heretic, to like really burn down the old bridges and old paradigm. And I want to teach a new way. I want to teach you how to work under 10 hours a week and make plus 10K of clients who are making like six figures in a quarter. Whereas like six figures was a dream one time for them to do it in a year. So if they can do it, if I can do it, you can do it. You just get to really redefine with richness. really means to you and then go for it.
- Speaker #1
So powerful. Thank you so much for all that you share and for empowering people to step into the fullness of who they are and to do it in a way that feels good to them. I'm so grateful for you. Thanks for helping us unleash today.
- Speaker #0
Thank you so much for this show. I love the questions. I love being here. It was brilliant. Thank you.
- Speaker #1
Thank you for listening and thanks to my guests. Petia Kolobova. For more info on Petia, follow her at Petia Kolobova and visit her website, PetiaKolobova.com. That will also be in the show notes. Unleash Your Inner Creative is hosted and executive produced by me, Lauren LaGrasso, produced by Rachel Fulton with theme music by Liz Bull. Thank you, Creative Cutie, for listening. If you like what you heard today, remember to rate, review, and follow the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Share the show with a friend and post about it on social media. You can tag me at Lauren LaGrasso and at Unleash Your Inner Creative and Rachel at Rachel M. Fulton, and we will repost to share our gratitude. Also tag Petya at Petya Kolobova so she can share as well. My wish for you this week is that you find moments to reconnect with yourself and nature and let those moments guide you to a life where your work feels fulfilling and balanced. It is there that I really believe we will find soulful success and abundant joy. I love you and I believe in you. Talk with you next week.
