- Speaker #0
At that point, I said, okay, all right, I surrender. This has got to get out to millions of people because if two hugs can get someone to do something that they haven't been able to do for 15 years, then it must be important.
- Speaker #1
Do you feel stuck in your creative process? Like you just can't break through your inner barriers? Do you struggle with feeling like you're not enough or feeling like you don't even know where to start with your creative journey? What if you could access proven techniques to unlock your full potential and discover new levels of self-expression and healing? Great news. Today's guest will share her unique practices for igniting creativity, overcoming self-doubt, and embracing your authentic self. Welcome to Unleash Your Inner Creative with Lauren LaGrasso. I'm Lauren LaGrasso. I'm a Webby Award-winning podcast host and producer, singer-songwriter, and creative coach. This show is meant to give you tools to love, trust, and know yourself enough to claim your right to creativity and pursue whatever it is that's on your heart. Before we get into the guests, I want to remind you that I have a new single coming out on Friday, October 11th. It's my version of Genie in a Bottle, a very cool cover, if I might say so myself. And you can pre-save it at the link in my bio and also in the show notes. Pre-saving helps so much. So if you like my music, and especially if you are interested to hear my cover of Genie in a Bottle, go ahead and pre-save it now and follow me wherever you get your music, Spotify or Apple Music, so that you can get it as soon as it releases. Now on to the guest. Today's guest is Marilyn Horowitz. She's an award-winning author, filmmaker, entrepreneur, and NYU professor emeritus. Her storytelling method has guided Emmy-nominated and Peabody award-winning students, and she's written several books on writing. including Word of the Day, which offers a practice to help you find your authentic voice, joy, and unlock your inner storyteller. I wanted to have Marilyn on because she brings actionable tools to help you learn to love, trust, and know yourself and start creating while healing. Stay tuned to learn her self-acknowledgement hug and her Word of the Day tool and learn how they will transform your life and creativity. From today's chat, you'll learn the Word of the Day practice, how to ignite creativity. how to instantly step into self-love and joy, a tool for healing, and much more. Okay, now here she is, Marilyn Horowitz. I'm so grateful to have you on. So thank you, Marilyn, for being here on Unleash Your Inner Creative. I want to start out with your creative journey because you have to have a pretty epic one to have come up with this many incredible tools and... I'm just curious. Yeah. Like when was creativity ignited in you that you started following it and how has it led you here?
- Speaker #0
The shortest version I can come up with was when I was about five, I came up with a book called The Raven and the Wicked Princess, which was a book of pictures because I couldn't write yet or read. And my mother nicely underlined the captions. And I was like, oh, great. I'm going to take this to school for show and tell. So I get there and my teacher, whose name is Anne Rake, if she's still alive, God bless her. She goes, Marilyn, this is the best thing I've ever seen. We're going to put this on for the whole school. And I'm like, great. And she goes, now what's the story? My mother didn't tell me I needed a story. So I made one up. And 30 years later, my therapist goes, this is why you're you. You're still answering that question. So the play was a success. And I mean, it was very good. But that's my creative journey in a nutshell. I was put on the spot. And I was able to come up with something pretty original, I think. And I've got a lot of accolades. The other part of the story is that I was very, very ill as a child. I had scleral fever. I was very sick. And I had near-death experience. And I've had a couple in my life. That's a longer conversation. But this was an early one. I really think I kind of left the planet for a minute. And what came in when I came back was that my mother used to read the New York Times to me, you know, to try to help me. And I looked at her and I said, Mom, that's a story. She said, what are you talking about? And that was my epiphany. I was like, everything is a story. Nothing is actually real. because things don't happen in time. You know this from your own work. When you meditate something, nothing that happens that's experienced can be expressed. Sometimes you have to organize it so someone else understands your dreams or whatever. So that was a big insight for me and it stayed with me.
- Speaker #1
So then how did it go from that childhood realization of storytelling is everything and everywhere to I am going to follow this as my devotion?
- Speaker #0
I went to NYU, I made a film, I sold it to cable, I did okay. And then I wrote a novel, which I sold to the movies, like a week after I wrote it was never published. And I was an NYU film graduate. So I thought I was pretty cool. And so the producer hired me to adapt my own hoot on it. into a how done it. It was about a serial killer and his sister and the FBI HR that comes after them and was sort of a psychological study about how violence is created. I mean, it was a thriller, but it had a deeper... By the time I was done, you didn't meet the killer till the end. I'd done 30 rewrites. I was really in despair. And then I had a dream in which Joseph Campbell, who Joseph Campbell, the mythologist, appeared to me. And he was wearing a toga. He was sitting up in a tree and he goes, I metaphorically, where you are, pal, how can I help you? because the producer had told me, you know, I did such a terrible job. He was giving it to another writer that wouldn't give it to some A-list writer to work on. And I said, I don't know. I'm the worst writer that ever lived. And I, you know, like, what can you do for me? He goes, well, I can give you a map. And I said, I can't read maps. He goes, good, this is perfect. So I wake up and I write down these 12 circles, which it's in my yellow, it's in the How to Write Screenplay book. And when I analyzed them, it was actually a simplified version of his hero's journey. Instead of being 17 steps, it was 12. which fit perfectly into a Hollywood narrative movie. And suddenly I was able to complete my rewrite and get paid. That's a true story.
- Speaker #1
Whoa. Major chills, Marilyn. So obviously for you, and this is a question I had later on, but you're taking me here right now, spirituality and creativity, as I believe, are deeply intrinsically linked. Was that something you consciously did, or did it just keep coming to you? And since then, since those near-death experience, having this channeling, how do you bring it in more intentionally?
- Speaker #0
That's a great question. I think that people have been made to be self-conscious about it. You know what I mean? So that there's a certain preciousness that occurs or extra awareness. My own experience of spirituality is it never occurred to me that there was anything else. You know, I mean, you know, the story my mother used to tell to humiliate me, I've come up three times in this, we must know each other from another life. My brother, we both had IQ tests. And my brothers, they asked him how to boil water. And my brother said, you need it to 32 Fahrenheit. And I said, I'll just call my fairy godmother. But I was right. That is on a metaphorical level. I was going to connect with the creator and ask for guidance. And my joke is that if I ever feel like I'm losing faith, I go talk to an atheist. Because they're so convinced that I immediately get my faith back.
- Speaker #1
That's amazing. How did you start teaching?
- Speaker #0
Wow. You really want to know a lot of stuff about me. I began teaching because one of my girlfriends got pregnant, and she was teaching at the School of Visual Arts, and she said, I'd like to teach my class. And I was like, well, I am the world's worst example of a student. I hate authority. She goes, you'll be perfect at the School of Visual Arts. I said, I'll be fine. So that was really how I began teaching. But it was this weird thing that happens because I had already had this experience where I had to save my own screenplay and whatever. So when I came to SVA, I had these handouts. I create thinking tools. Basically, I believe we're hardwired for story. And remember how in the Renaissance, there's a big thing about how they would have this big crystal on a stand and they would tilt it and they could get the perspective. And this is a whole thing. And anyway, I got that idea. And so all of my tools are like prisms. They sort of aim what's inside your head and they get it out on paper. That's kind of what I'm up to. I was teaching these things. At that time, NYU, which was my alma mater, had just started their professional studies department. And the guy who ran it, who is now one of a big Hollywood, he's written a lot of things. He's very well known. His name is Michael Zahn, which just started their department. He called me and he said, you know, you've got this accelerated book. You have, you know, the amazing success. You have all these students that are finishing their screenplays. come teach at NYU. I'd like to see your book. My then-husband was also a filmmaker. He had a day job working as a temp in one of the banks. So he took all these pieces of paper and he turned them into a book, basically. And I spiraled on book. I wrote an intro and I took it in. And I'm like, they're hired and we'll publish your book.
- Speaker #1
I want to ask you what you think of this sentence, because it's something that really bothers me and that I vehemently disagree with. What do you think of people who say, those who can't do, teach?
- Speaker #0
I think they can do neither.
- Speaker #1
Thank you.
- Speaker #0
You know, I know I was always cursed with that sort. And I worked with a lot of people who about that, whom that was true. But, you know, you know how you are. You're a songwriter, right? It's either good or it isn't. I mean, it doesn't matter whether you do it for a large audience or a record label. You're good or you're not good. If you're really, really good. You know, for me, teaching was my hobby. Again, the same thing happened. Like a week after I got to SVA, people started calling me saying, I'd like you to work on my novel. I'd like you to work on my. So I had a full coaching practice within the first year that I ever started. I don't know how it happened. I was just happy. But my opinion was no. And that people who said that were kind of mean spirited. What do you think?
- Speaker #1
Well, I don't think that all who do can teach. I think teaching is in of itself a creative skill.
- Speaker #0
Absolutely.
- Speaker #1
God bless my Spanish teacher. I loved her. One of my Spanish teachers in high school, she was born and raised in a primarily Spanish-speaking country, but she couldn't teach Spanish. She knew it very well. It was her native tongue. But to teach something is a very different skill than to know how to do it. And it's an art in and of itself. And I think when people say that, they're trying to humiliate and they're trying to belittle something that actually is an incredible craft and also is arguably even more creative because you're empowering other people with creativity. And I know that's part of your mission right now, but the ripple effects of that are endless.
- Speaker #0
Right. Well, the mission that I'm currently on is to get 1% of 1% of the population to actually do these techniques. I mean, I agree with you, but I also feel that, you know, I'm so happy that you're in the world doing what you're doing because people have to like themselves. Like there's something about your energy that's very self-respectful is what I'm going to use. It's very, very appreciated. It's unusual. You're like very, it's not like you're dignified, but like you're very present. And you're like the poster child of what I would like everybody else to be like after they use my stuff. No big head, present, self-respectful, human. you know, focused and appreciative of other people. I mean, so you're absolutely, this is what I'd like to accomplish is where you are.
- Speaker #1
Oh, that's so beautiful. I know you've got this tool of the self-acknowledgement hug. I've done a few today with you on your YouTube videos.
- Speaker #0
Can we do it now?
- Speaker #1
Yes, please. Can you tell my audience what that is? And then could we do it all together?
- Speaker #0
Sure. So again, I'm a teacher, so bear with me. I'll try to be very short. Part of what I learned in the course of my travels was I discovered that the mind and the body really dance together literally and figuratively. I don't come from that tradition. I come from a very, you know, intellectual tradition. And so I realized that there had to be a somatic component because you have, you know, you've always talked about the two sides of your brain, your language brain, your creative brain. That's irrelevant. The issue is you have a brain and that biological imperative is what's running the show. That's what keeps your heart beating. And if you ever want to know why you don't get better and why you can't change, it's because that part of you says, hey, you got this far. What do you want to be happy for?
- Speaker #1
It's a good point.
- Speaker #0
So what I'm up to is entraining that part of you. The self-hug has a deep thing. The idea is it's like any other kind of entrainment. You know, it's like a habit. You go to the gym. So what's going to happen is if you're willing to do the hug three times a day, the brain, the biological imperative that doesn't want anything different because it just wants you to get to stay alive as long as possible is going to go. You know, I'm noticing that when Lauren does the hug, you know, her systems are working better. She breathes better. You know, she, you know, maybe this happiness thing is, needs to be included in the survival kit. That's where I'm coming from because I have that money. So the purpose for the hug is that it is to reconnect you with yourself and it is to teach people that happiness is a specific feeling. It's not all the stuff that they're trying to sell you. They can sell you ecstasy and joy and delight. Happiness is something different. Happiness is... What I see in you, you're how you are beautiful. And the idea is get that. No, it's the feeling. Understand that now no one can sell you anything because you got it. And then to understand that only you can give it to yourself. That's the good news. The bad news is only you can give it to yourself. So if you really take this on, what starts to happen, and I've seen this occur, especially in myself, is I'm not that attached to things. I'm not detached. It's not like Eckhart Tolle or any of that stuff. It's more like. Oh, yeah, I can go to the bathroom and do this. And I'm going to deal. I got my stronger self here. I got all of all the pieces here. The invocation is, I love you, Lauren. We'll always be together. We'll always be safe. And we are enough. Why is it we? Because people need to learn that like a little kid, you need to treat yourself as if there are a separate person who you would treat like a little kid. And we don't do that. And so the invocation reinforces that. That's the whole ball of wax. Do this thing three times a day and watch. your other pieces that give you such a hard time about stuff start to be more cooperative. This is a big deal.
- Speaker #1
Beautiful. Could we do it?
- Speaker #0
All right. So the first thing is if you're sitting, get up and then sit down on your sit bones. Now take a big breath, arms up, reach up towards the sky. Oh, I have a nice stress. I'm sure you've been sitting there for a while. Take a breath, inhale. Okay. And then just kind of go. as you lower your arms, imagine that you're putting a beautiful bubble around yourself. Nothing can get in, nothing can get out. You're within yourself. You are complete. It's clean and safe. And then bring your arms around and put the opposite hands on your shoulders and give yourself a nice squeeze. Okay. And take in that this is a power gesture. Take it that you suddenly connect to yourself in this very physical way, right? There's no way around it. So take a breath in and now smile very widely. You don't have a problem with that, but I have people have trouble lifting their lips. And the reason to smile wildly aside from all the other reasons is that it sends a shot of dopamine to your brain, which is what I was talking about, about this physical part of you that goes, Hey, you know, when she does this, she's feeling pretty healthy. Maybe we need to find out how to do more of this with her. See what I'm saying? Make sense? Ah, and then breathe, smile again, and stay alive. You have the nerve to look at yourself in the Zoom. Otherwise, keep your eyes closed. I love you, Lauren. We'll always be together. We'll always be safe. And we are enough. Take a breath. Give yourself a little shake, a little squeeze. Feel the breath. Lean forward. Let your neck release itself a little bit. Okay. And now where you are, Lauren, is you are in a state of happiness. It's a neurobiological state. Okay. So when someone else tells you that if you buy something, you'll be happy, you can say, no, I'm already happy. And if I'm not, I can do it myself. Thank you. Now, what do you want from me? See how you're free. And so the idea is that you start to orient yourself this, feel the feeling, feel how good that is. All right, now release it. Yeah. And now you're back to yourself, but you see it stays.
- Speaker #1
Yeah. Marilyn, I love what you do.
- Speaker #0
Thank you.
- Speaker #1
So what I felt when I watched your page was you were never going to lie to me. You weren't going to say like, oh, it's all butterflies and rainbows all the time. But you were also going to give me the tools I needed to have more butterflies and rainbows in my life while acknowledging the difficulty. One of the videos I watched was about feeling enough and how that oftentimes is the missing piece when people talk about manifestation. They're not first laying this foundational work where they believe they deserve to manifest the things that they want. Can you take me through that a bit?
- Speaker #0
Sure. We live in a world where at least language-wise, everything is dualistic, right? Everything is equal and opposite cost and in fact, black and white. Therefore, whatever you focus on, you immediately apply the opposite. So the more you tell yourself you're rich, the poorer you're going to feel because that's just how things work. And so when you read the metaphysicians and you read the small print, it basically says you have to get yourself into the feeling that you actually are what you say you are. And my answer is, that's great. Let's bring on the mushrooms. Because I think if we already felt that way, we wouldn't be reading any of these books or doing any of this stuff.
- Speaker #1
Very true. And many people are bringing on the mushrooms these days.
- Speaker #0
Well, but maybe they know something we don't.
- Speaker #1
No, for sure.
- Speaker #0
I mean, I don't know.
- Speaker #1
I'm not against it. I haven't tried it yet, but I'm interested.
- Speaker #0
I have no opinions about that sort of thing. But what I meant was that when you use a, whether it's religion or a drug or a glass of wine, when you use something artificial, you could feel better about things briefly. Here's the problem. The problem is, is that the only way to be in that state where something can happen is not to be in a state of dualism. And I've worked on this thing for 30 years. And what I discovered was when you do the hug, the way I showed you, for 10, 15 a minute, You are not in a state of duality. You are actually an open channel where this stuff can come in. It's the only place I have found that it is absolutely not something that you have to go. You read these books, go lie down in bed and imagine yourself in a field and you're with your lover and you're lying on a bed of dollars. I mean, okay, that stuff is great, but that's not what you need. What you need is to make yourself happy. The bottom of all this manifesting stuff, Lauren, honestly. Do the hug. You've manifested the thing you most want. And after that, it's all gravy. And you're not looking for lack. You are wealthy and rich and abundant. And your brain now knows that you're healthier than you were before you did the hug because it's figured out that happiness makes you healthy. So that's my answer. My answer is do this. It is a cocktail that works, having tried everything else.
- Speaker #1
All right. So everybody go back, rewind, do the self-acknowledgement hug one more time if you're looking to manifest or just to feel happy because that is the key, as Marilyn just said. This other tool you have, which is the new book that you have out.
- Speaker #0
Yes. The Word of the Day. This is my other baby.
- Speaker #1
Your little creative baby. It is so good. I was able to read, you sent it to me right before we started. I was able to read the first chapter. It was awesome.
- Speaker #0
Thank you so much.
- Speaker #1
Can you take us through what Word of the Day is? And you already told us how you discovered it. So take us through what it is.
- Speaker #0
So it's the other half of the somatic technique, because remember, we talked about the language brain and the picture brain. The problem is all your trauma, all your stuff, your brain does not work in language. All the other parts of your mind only work in language. And there's a disconnect because language is so much faster than imaging and so on and so forth. What happened was I was doing my thing as a coach, blah, blah. I wrote this book. The publisher in London was really happy. They thought I was the next Julia Cameron. And then my friend Barnaby, who was a shaman who teaches a gallant and I dance tango with, dared me. He said, I don't think you're a teacher. I think you're a healer. And I went to camp. I've run for 17 years called Shaman Dome, where we heal people after they've had their transformative experiences. We see 300 people a day. I want you to come and sit in my tent and heal people. Don't dare me. There I was two years ago. I'm a girl who thinks of a four-star hotel as being a little bit slumming. There I am in a dust storm on a mat in a dome near my RV with two of my buddies. And I've got my little pad and I'm surrounded by shaman who've all got their rattles and their drums. I mean, and you know... Barnaby, who is his name? He's an artist. He's a very great shaman. Someone for you to maybe look up another time. He's quite something. And so there I am. And they bring me, you know, one of these historical people who's had too much ayahuasca or whatever, you know, whatever transformative experience had been overwhelming for her when she's sobbing historically. People around me are saging. And I said, Oh, my God, what am I going to do? Boom. I realized that her head is literally off her shoulders because I'm trained in Alexander and Dalian and many, you know, physical modalities, Thai massage. So I get hold of her and she's about five, eight. I'm about five. We went, I'm like, sit down. I get in there and I, you know, I get her head back on her neck and she goes down and was six. And then I go, so, so, you know, what is troubling you, my child? You know? So I get out my little pad and I say, can you get out one word? Oh,
- Speaker #1
wow.
- Speaker #0
So her word was betrayal. And then I'll backtrack and tell you a little more. And so when we did the cluster, because I had been doing this for a long time, so I'd used it in my private work in a different setting, I went, I see this stuff, this hug, this word. You can just cut through all the crap and just get to it.
- Speaker #1
Yeah.
- Speaker #0
24-7, I'm like, come on, bring it, right? So she goes, I came out here with my girlfriend and my boyfriend, and now they're sleeping together. And I'm stuck in a tent with them for two weeks. Like, it's a really bad problem.
- Speaker #1
Oh, my. gosh, I'm so mad. That's terrible. Great story, though. Big story.
- Speaker #0
All right, here's the rest of the story. So she gets hysterical. I go, I can't have this. So I say, okay, Krista, we're going to do this thing. You're going to hide yourself. And then it came to me through the creator. It just came in. I said, I love you, Krista. I was, you know, I love you, Krista. We'll always be together. We'll always be safe. We'll always be together. There was a silence. And I, you know, and I said, now, you know, obviously you're in it. You have a very difficult. problem. And I just want to know that it's being heard. And this transformation, suddenly, you could see the blonde Viking returned. And she's like, oh my God, that cluster, I get it. My father did that to my mother. That's why I would put up with it. And she just got up and she gave me this beautiful necklace. I had this little beautiful thing. And that was it. And I thought, okay, I'll see her two weeks later. She's like, I got them out. I moved to a different camp. No problem. Thank you so much.
- Speaker #1
So just to clarify for people, when you're talking about the cluster, you're talking about the word of the day cluster. So you start out with one word and then you branch out. Also, we have to break down that story, but I just want them to understand what this is.
- Speaker #0
So this is so again, remember, I said that I work both with language and all this. So this is a diagram. And if you ever looked at my first book, How to Write a Screenplay in 10 Weeks, it's a series of graphic diagrams where I could sit down and take a Hollywood producer and get them to be able to pitch in two hours. because I understood how we were hardwired for story. Same thing here. All these other parts of ourselves, we talked about oneness, togetherness, dealing with ourselves. There's no way to do it, except in the beginning was the word, right? So the circle does an organizing thing to the various parts of your brain. Go draw a circle, you'll see you immediately calm down. Then now, you have almost like, remember I told you about this prism that you could put on a stand? Then you can kind of aim your brain and you can just say to yourself, You can do a random word. There are many uses. But in this case, with Krista, it was like, what's bothering you? You know, what's a word that comes in? And she obviously clearly had an image. And the word that came in was betrayal. That's why it worked. Because even though she was in a very disorganized mental state emotionally, she was doing fine because her brain was in there having her survive. It's a way to talk to the brain. It's pretty unique. It's to have a conversation with that level that is so deep that it has no words. But one word seems to work. So as a practice, as a 30-day practice of the book, you use a couple of things. Like me, I'm my own worst student. I had a bad, bad thing happen a couple of weeks ago where someone like fished me online and got some of my money and really freaked me out. And I went into a tailspin. I haven't been in for years. I got myself that. I got myself the word of the day because when I did my clustering, the word that came up was self-doubt. And I went, oh yeah, I've never seen that word before.
- Speaker #1
This is new. What does it mean?
- Speaker #0
Yeah, does it have a hyphen? I committed to doing this for 30 days. Every morning when I woke up, that word was there. I would do the hug in bed and I would ask my creative unconscious, which is how I relate to it, say, please give me some piece of information. They can help me start to improve and remove the self-doubt because I can't live like this. So a piece came in and suddenly I found myself going and looking at an old Napoleon Hill book, which I had from years. And it said, come up with one chief intention. So I thought, okay, let me try that. So I wrote down one chief intention. That's how I got my reach 800 people and 1% of 1% of the population started to feel good. And so each day I've gotten some piece of. something from my creative unconscious, which is in part my brain, which could never speak. So it's amazing.
- Speaker #1
And just to like paint the picture for you listening a little more, it starts out with one word and then you branch out to think of different words. And then you bring the reader slash student through this part where you're like, and all of a sudden this one word will come up that will be a conflict word. Take me through that. That is so interesting.
- Speaker #0
Okay. So the idea is that in the book, The bubble chart or the cluster is pre-made. So you draw one big circle and then you draw five or six and then you connect them with lines, but you do that first. So you're not branching out, you're filling in. And that's a very important, nature hates a vacuum and all that good stuff. And this is specifically for writers, but it works very well in life. So for example, I would do this cluster. So the first cluster was self-doubt. So I got bad, sad, depressed, ex-boyfriend. politics, whatever it was, going down this. And then I get extrovert. And I'm going, what the hell is that word? Pardon my French. These parts of your brain are trying to have a conversation. You're allowing this conversation. So if you can enjoy surprising yourself, then you start to do another bubble chart, which starts with that conflict word, right? So then you do the conflict word. So extroverts, I would get happy, fun, dancing. And then the timer goes off because you said. you choose a timer for one or two minutes and then it is a place for you to write and the idea is like when you're a little kid you you use all the words in a sentence it's kind of a trick because the brain remember i said hardwired for story the brain is going to turn this into a story and it's going to help you so my story was something like i don't have it in front of me my story was what was the effect of i got very um depressed because these bad guys stole money from me online but i'm looking at the two clusters and i went and then and then this thing happens. You go, oh, but I'm an extrovert. I know that I can get out of it because I can go and dance, party, whatever. And then suddenly this light goes on in me. It's coming directly from whatever that essence of self is. It's coming from these different parts having a conversation, which they could never do. I mean, I'm still not in the world's greatest mood, but every time I start to go down, I'm like, extrovert, extrovert, extrovert.
- Speaker #1
What I love about this is that, yes, it is a creative tool, but it's also a self-healing tool. That when you don't even know, I mean, that girl, like she knew kind of what she was upset about, but she didn't know really what was the underbelly of what she was upset about. It pulls the subconscious and even the generational pain out of you and allows you to see it in front of you, make the connections and start to heal and make different choices.
- Speaker #0
The motto of the system is the problem is a solution.
- Speaker #1
Well, and that's also why, like when you said, like, I'm not my own best student or whatever you said, I'm like, actually, you're actually maybe the best student because now you know how to reach people like you.
- Speaker #0
Oh, yeah. That's the old Chinese homily, which is, you know, get sick young, live long.
- Speaker #1
Yeah. I always say I believe we teach what we most need to learn. And who better to teach it? You've had to put it to the test.
- Speaker #0
You are a wise woman, you know a lot. Well, it takes one to know one. What are some of the success stories you've seen from using this method? What have you seen happen out in the world?
- Speaker #1
All right. So what got me, again, the thing with Burning Man is no joke. You know, 30 people later, people were leaving. They were whole. It's what you said. They left whole. Then I came back and I met a young man who is a psychoanalyst from Buenos Aires who is working in shelters for a not-for-profit dealing with them. homeless families who are asylum seekers from Latin America. Again, you can't make this stuff up, Lauren, so I'll tell the story. So he had been studying, he's been taking a certification course in, I think, Mindvalley. And I was introduced to him by my friend, Sid, who was much given to hyperbole as a guru. And Andres looks at me and he goes, you know what? I've been manifesting to be the right-hand man of a guru. Are you hiring? I mean, just like that. And I'm like, let's see how it goes. But we had dinner a couple of nights later. I taught him the hug because he was in a tough. place and he loved it. And he'd been Mindvalley, Silva, he was very receptive. And he also saw the somatic power, like he got what was different about it because he's just been studying all the more traditional modalities. So the next day, he has a client who was a beautiful, absolutely gorgeous woman named Claudia, who had been married for 15 years to an abusive psycho who did awful things to her, had a seven-year-old son and no one had ever been able to get her to leave him. This has been going on for seven years. So Andrus, you know, he's the new guy. So they say, okay, you know, don't work with Claudia. And he's like, okay. So he goes and takes one look at her. He says, okay, let's do this thing. They do the hug. She weeps. Good, you got through that. You know, someday something will happen. But, you know, good man. Next day, gets a call. Hi, this is Claudia. Can you come to the police station and help me fill out the form so I can leave my husband? I have pictures of her. I just was teaching her last week. She left her husband. And she has this beautiful son. I mean, it makes me want to cry. And at that point, I said, OK, all right, I surrender. This has got to get out to millions of people, because if two hugs can get someone to do something they haven't been able to do for 15 years, then it must be important. Another success story, two more, is that Andres himself was kind of overweight. And he would go out and eat pizza late at night. That was kind of his binge. This is another one of my tools, because remember, I've been a coach for 25 years, so I had to get a lot of people to do a lot of things. And I said, well, Andrus, let's plan your escape. He went, what? I said, yeah, let's plan your escape. People go and they eat late at night because they're feeling empty, but let's be compassionate. I mean, you could be drinking, you could be doing crack, you could be cutting yourself. You could be doing some awful symptom. All you're doing is eating a little bit too much pizza. Give me a break. And so he never heard that before. I was like, what are you talking about? And I said, yeah, let's plan your escape. What do you normally eat? And I said, great. So this is how many calories a piece of pizza has. Now here's what you do. You're going to budget it into a weekly, and you're going to budget in four or five pieces of the stuff. But you can still just do your thing, and you're going to be compassionate. You're going to start giving yourself credit for having such a mild symptom. It's like, what? And I said, yeah. And I said, okay, now here's the hard part. The hard part is that now that you can't focus on your symptom, now you have to plan your escape. and look at the situation. And that's where, again, the hug comes in because most people don't have the, because they don't have a place to go. But in his hug, he could say, oh yeah, you know, I've got stresses at work. I've got stresses in my personal life. He lost 30 pounds. Wow. No dieting, three months. And he said to me, I was in therapy for 14 years. You've cured me in three months. So that's a second story. And then the third story. So I'm in my local French restaurant where I hang out and I'm having a glass of wine on Saturday and I'm working on something. And I see a guy. sitting across from me and he looks very unhappy he's not answering his phone he's planning his nails he's got this big bag beneath him you know i'm a people person and i i can see something's really wrong with this guy but he's wearing a shirt and says i want to play out and i'm figuring out how to get my stuff out there and i thought i'm going to find a way it's my local place i'm going to buy the last one and find out what's up so i say hey you know i see the back of your t-shirt you know can i get some advertising advice to you and he goes well you know what are you up to and i of course i have a book in my bag so i show him the book you And he said, well, let's do this. So I get a piece of paper, again, for your readers, your listeners. It's a circle with like five or six circles big enough for a word attached to it. So I make that chart and I say, okay, so just play along with me. First word was something like sustainable. He worked in advertising on green stuff. So that made sense. There were a few other words. And then there's this word rat, R-A-T. I said, is there someone who's making you feel like a cornered rat? And he goes, yeah, I'm thinking I have to leave my wife. I'm like, what? He goes, yeah. And I go, why? And he goes, because I feel like I'm just going to go off on her. You know what I mean? She gets me so crazy. I'm like, wow, okay. And I say, well, you know, what is it that she does? And he goes, well, she lies to me. I say, okay. And he said, I married her. I thought the question was a little older. I thought she would sort of, you know, help me run things. But she's the child, and I'm having to take care of me, her, and my two children. And I'm like, I hate my job. I said, okay, great. Let's start at the end or at the beginning. So in your present job, two kids, how many years do you have to work at this job to make enough money to quit? Nowhere else do you have going? So we had a five minute conversation where we did some sums and he goes, all right, seven years. I said, okay, well, there's that. But at least now you've planned your escape. There is an end. And then I said, so when your wife lies, what do you do? He goes, well, I don't really do anything. I said, so you go along with it. Oh my God. My mother lied to my father. every day of their marriage, and I'm putting up with it. He gets on the cell phone, you know, text her, you know, coming home, gets the bill, picks up his obviously overnight bag, leaves with a giant smile and hugs me. And he said, here's the problem with your stock rally. People don't know they need it until after they do it.
- Speaker #0
Wow. That's incredible. If we're going to be putting this practice into our lives, you did put a nice schedule in the book, but when would you recommend people implement? this? Is it a first thing in the morning thing? More than one time a day? When should this be done?
- Speaker #1
Well, I think that the hug is something that you might really want to commit to doing at least three times a day. Because remember, you're trying to entrain your biological imperative to understand that happiness is good for your survival. So it starts to cooperate. In other words, the brain goes, you see the basic idea, which is you put up with all these negative systems because you're alive. And that's what your brain's job is to keep you all done. your job to make you happy or sleep well. It's your job to physically keep the form going. So this entrainment, the brain starts to pick up. So me, I do the hug a lot, but that's because I know what I'm up to and I'm up to having my brain be with Robert. That's why it took me such a little time to get out of this really severe health spin I was in because the brain went, oh yeah, that's so much better than the other thing. Let's send messages through the word of the day what she can do. I would do the hug three times a day. I would do the hug whenever you're stressed out. Whatever you think you want, it's not what you want. This is what you want. And if we were all trained to understand that this is what we want, it's happiness, and that we can only give it to ourselves. Do you think that the world would be so different? I mean, can you imagine that you have some little kid screaming, mom's not home and whatever. You go, hey, you've got you. Come on, mommy will be home soon. Let's do this hug. I mean, what do you think is going to happen to that kid?
- Speaker #0
They'll be very well balanced and have a calm nervous system growing up, which is rare.
- Speaker #1
You do have to get happy to get happiness, but they make such a big deal out of it. Why do you have to go sit in Zazen for 10 years? How come? Why can't you just go do the hug? Acknowledge, because that's half of it. Yes, I am in that state of happiness. The thing I was most seeking, I have just created it. Why can't that become the thing? Not that meditation isn't great and therapy, they're all great, but you have the only thing that you want and no one else can give it to you. That's the big news.
- Speaker #0
Yeah. I mean, I think realizing that we're all our own teachers and healers is such a powerful and empowering way of being. And then as far as word of the day, would you recommend doing that first thing in the morning? Like when?
- Speaker #1
Well, except one of my students is a devout Catholic and she texted me. I love the book, but I usually pray on the book. I'm like, so pray and do the hug. She wrote me later. She said, actually, I started doing the hug first because I could pray while I was hugging. So she solved the problem.
- Speaker #0
Multitasker.
- Speaker #1
Absolutely. But the idea is for you to instantly have the somatic connection with yourself, to get those brain chemicals in line, to all the stuff that this does. You become this sort of this cone. You're sort of this whole thing. You are just integrated within yourself. And again, it's a new idea. The idea that this is the way that you interact with the world as a complete being within yourself is not known. It doesn't mean that if you have a problem, you shouldn't go to therapy. It just means that if you go into therapy and you do the hug first, you're going to get a lot more out of it.
- Speaker #0
And I watched a bunch of your YouTube videos about how writing is a physical sport. Can you just speak a little bit to that? Because it's a little different than, I mean, the hug is part of it, but I love some of the things you talked about, like waking up the senses and even stretching or dancing. Just talk a little bit about that and how that can be incorporated into your creative routine.
- Speaker #1
Okay. Well, even if you dictate, you have to move your body in order to make words appear. We disconnect from our bodies when we're asleep because we're not in our bodies. We're somewhere else. We're in a dream world. And so when you first awaken, if you don't connect with yourself, you can kind of get out of bed and you're still all over the place. You're literally not where you are. So the yoga practice... that I recommend is that when you wake up, you're wiping my hair, ears, tapping my eyes, tapping my nose, tapping my mouth, getting all the parts in the back of my neck online. I'm feeling my shoulders. I'm going to do this. I'm going to rub my hands a little bit. I'm going to wiggle my toes, rub my legs. Anything that gets you to understand where you begin and end, right? Plus the hug. And then writing is a physical sport because writing pulls in all, remember we talked about these other parts. So your brain has to cooperate to let your hand move, right? Your language mind has to help you form the words. And then your picture brain has to give you images to write about. And so suddenly you have a, I know it's a buzzword, but unity is a really good word. You're suddenly in a... state of presentness. You're in a unified state of being. If you really want to take your power back, then whatever you're dealing with, instead of arguing with your partner over breakfast, you're like, hey, you're just in this other state where you just are so, as I say, the problem has to become the solution. You got what you can imagine. You wake up every day, you got what you're alive for. The first thing you give yourself is the thing that you most want out of life. Wow.
- Speaker #0
Well, yeah. And what I loved in what you just said is the image that you're constantly collaborating with yourself. Like it's very easy to feel lonely and the creative experience and process, but to realize that there's so many collaborators, just even in your own body is a calming thought. Like I am never alone because I am always with myself and collaborating within myself.
- Speaker #1
Sure. We'll always be together. Remember that's in the heart, right?
- Speaker #0
It's coming out in action now. So I want to wrap it up with this, Marilyn. you mentioned this briefly before, but you have a goal to reach 1% of 1% of the world's population to boost productivity, creativity, and happiness through self-acknowledgement. What does this mean in action? Why this number? And how can we join you?
- Speaker #1
I love it. Okay. So why this number is roughly there are 8 billion people on the planet, right? It's a lot of people, but 1% of 1% seems remotely doable. The way to join me is to do the right thing. I have a free webinar every two weeks. I have one coming up on Wednesday. I have a newsletter. And if you sign up for my newsletter, you get lots of really good stuff that will help you in this creative journey. And the real thing is, it's what the advertising guy said. It's a curse and a blessing, which is, you know, now that you've done the hug, what it can do is you just did it. You know what that feels like. That's what we need to do. And we need to explain to people that to have a word of the day defines once you're in the state of happiness. By giving yourself a word that's going to be important to you, you're going to have a much better experience of the day because not only are you in the state that you were seeking, now you have a, if not a goal, a direction.
- Speaker #0
Beautiful. Well, what I love most about your process is that it's holistic and it is the way I view creativity, which is through healing, self-love, self-trust, and self-knowledge. So I'm so grateful for what you're doing in the world. I would agree with your friend that you are a healer. And thank you for coming on and sharing your beautiful practices with my listeners. And everybody go get that book because it is so good. Share the title one more time, Marilyn, so we can give them a little call to action.
- Speaker #1
Okay. And here's the tricky bit on Amazon. Yeah. It's the word of the day. Transform your writing in 15 minutes a day. It's not the word. If you put in T-H-E, you won't find it.
- Speaker #0
Okay. Well, we're also going to put a link in the show notes so you can click it there. And also... do what Marilyn said, just word of the day.
- Speaker #1
Yeah. And it really, I mean, the most valuable thing is if you sign up for the newsletter, people do guest blogs, we have stories. I mean, I could have told you miraculous stories for another hour, but we put them in the newsletter and in the webinar, we do the practice. So if people want to come on, they can have the experience of doing the practice. It's pretty fun.
- Speaker #0
All right. You heard it here first. Well, probably not first, but you heard it here. And Marilyn. I really, really enjoyed this. Thank you for everything you do. And for this beautiful hour we got to share.
- Speaker #1
Thank you. Same. And as I say, you are the embodiment of what I want other people to accomplish.
- Speaker #0
Thank you so much, Marilyn. You're awesome. Thanks for listening. And thanks to my guest, Marilyn Horowitz. For more info on Marilyn, follow her at Horowitz1105 and visit her website, MarilynHorowitz.com. You can get her book, Word of the Day, on her website or wherever you get your books. Thanks to Rachel Fulton for producing today's episode. Follow her at Rachel M. Fulton. Thanks, Liz Full, for the show's theme music. Follow her at Liz Full. And again, thank you. If you like what you heard today, remember to rate, review, and follow the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Share the show with a friend and post about it on social media. Tag me at Lauren LaGrasso and at Unleash Your Inner Creative, and I will repost to share my gratitude. Also tag the guests at Horowitz1105 so they can share as well. My wish for you this week is that you try both the self-acknowledgement hug and the word of the day tool. Use Marilyn's techniques and see what sort of healing and creative expression they bring into your life. I love you and I believe in you. Talk with you next week.
