Speaker #0Hello, folks. Welcome back to the podcast. If you hear my dog in the back, I apologize. So today is going to be another low-key one. Low. Uneventful. So I heard about this, I think it's like a psychological study that was done. Correct me if I'm wrong. it was a while ago it was back in like 1997 by this psychologist arthur uh aaron which is basically like a recipe for like a love spell um it's supposed to be like what is it 36 questions that you're supposed to ask each other and then look into each other's eyes for four minutes okay i gotta let my dog out But I always thought it would be, like, the perfect thing to do on, like, a first date. I don't know if it's going to make you fall in love. But I guess the, like, the idea behind it is to, like, get very vulnerable. And that's what's going to be, like, the recipe for love. I don't know if there is one. But I thought this was very interesting, the thought, like, the premise behind it. So I thought that's what we could do today. and see if we fall in love um i have i i don't think i've looked at the questions i think i've like glimpsed on them and i think the first time that i saw was on a tv show so i don't really have much to back it up for but uh we'll give it we'll give it a shot and see what happens so the first question and there's there's 36 of these Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest? This is very interesting. I don't know. I don't know who I would want. That's- So, like, they would be, like, a guest at your dinner? This sounds very nerve-wracking. Fuck. I've already started this with failure. I really don't know how to answer this. I feel like if you asked me this, like, ten years ago, I could've given- given you like a way better answer i don't i don't know i'm gonna say pass yes that that would 100% be my answer the second one is would you like to be famous you know in what way i think people would want to be famous for something that is respected so i think that's what like the goal is so it's something it's supposed to be something that someone's not going to look down on you for or mock you for so i feel like it would have to be something like very like mainstream or like very classic that that type of thing i feel like that that's the answer before making a telephone call do you ever rehearse what you're going to say why oh okay so obviously different stages of age i've done different things um now not for okay i hate telephone calls i don't do telephone calls um i don't know it's like 10 times more anxiety i have no freaking clue why i guess if like we're talking me like a conversation before it happens yes i won't like rehearse like word for word word for word but i'll like play like uh how i think things are gonna go down which you know Who's to say what that means? I feel like a lot of that is just, gosh. I feel like a lot of that's anxiety. I feel like when I'm anxious, so if it's something new or something very important, I get very anxious about how I'm going to deal with it. If it's something that I'm very comfortable with, I'm probably going to be less anxious. So if it's going to be something like one of those two categories, I'm probably going to be rehearsing in my head of all the different scenarios that could go around. So I guess that would be how I do that. And the answer would be because I'm anxious. What would constitute a perfect day for you? That's so hard. I feel like you could do that on so many different levels. Perfect day, I guess it would depend on who I was with. Because I feel like even if I was like doing like the best like the coolest things or like The the things that like are so exciting. I feel like it would be a lot it would be way i can't speak it would it would be better if it was done with someone that you could actually enjoy it with i feel like if you're by yourself it's like okay this is fun but most of the experience is experiencing it with someone else so i think the the number one thing i would say is have someone there that i that i wanted to be there that's so weird to say uh not be alone No, the perfect day would be with someone that I, probably the person that I love. I'm so in my head that I feel like I could have like a fun time like outside, but I feel like it would be so much better when you're not like thinking about everyone else, which sounds a little bit wacky. So I don't know, maybe like just like a simple, uh, I don't know. i feel like i'm so lame when i'm just like okay yeah like have a like just like have a private day with someone that you love it's still i feel like that's very simple but that would be yes when did the last when did you last sing to yourself or to someone else sing to yourself like just like singing out loud i sing all the time I sing way too much like non-stop. I constantly sing. I don't think this is a time where I'm not singing and I'm not trying to sing good so it's a lot like cat scratching but I do I sing non-stop. I don't think I've ever sang to someone like serenaded them. I don't think I've done that before just because it's I think that would be so nerve-wracking. i feel like i could record it but like doing like serenading someone like in the moment i feel like that would that takes some oh my god i would die that's so i that's so nerve-wracking to me if you do it props oh that sounds oh my gosh that's like one of those things like like proposing to someone in public because of like anything bad happens you have now on top of it like public embarrassment which is oh great if you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30 year old for the last 60 years of your life which would you want oh my god i feel like i'm gonna get so much shit i would choose the mind that's my worst fear is like my mind deteriorating like That is one of my worst fears. I feel like that's so... That's just so haunting and like... I would definitely want to keep my mind if that was a choice, which it's not. Do you have a secret hunch about how you'll die? I don't take good care of myself. I feel like I'm gonna die of like something like... I don't know. Something about how I eat or my eating habits. I feel like that's what's going to make me kick the bucket. Or just me not taking care of myself. Which is not something to laugh at. It's just like, I feel like it's something that's so preventable. I don't know. Who's going to imagine like, yeah, someone's going to murder me. I don't think someone's going to anticipate that. And if they do, then it's a bit scary. I think it's gonna be something like I had a heart attack. I don't know. I hope. I don't want it to be like- I don't hope. I hope it's not something like brutal. I don't know. I think about that one too much and I get- it's too scary. Cause like there's like- that's literally the worst thing for me to think about. That and like the afterlife. And I'm gonna take a step back cause that literally freaks me out. I'll go into a whole spiral. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common. This one's tricky to do, huh? Um, our, like, how do you say, enthusiasm? Our ability to, like, hyper-focus. Oh, you know, our model good looks. Number nine. For what in your life do you feel most grateful? This has to be your loved ones. Like, I feel like anything else. I feel like there's- When you go with this question, I feel- it's like a lot of like triumphs. So I feel like if you've been through any hurdles that you've had to struggle your way out of, and you've achieved that, it's such like a great thing that it's like- that would be one of the things that I would be, you know, grateful for. But of course, it's your loved ones. I feel like that's like the no duh. i don't think anyone wants to be just like alone on this earth for the rest of your life that sounds very miserable if you could change anything about the way you were raised what would what would it be i talk about this way too much and i try not to blame like this one's such a tricky one especially like if parents are gonna hear it which i don't think this one was attended i feel like anything you're like shaming them on or judging them for how they raised you so i'm gonna try to answer that without hitting that one which is hard i'm guessing this is such a horrible question this is the okay if we're being brutally honest here the i guess i would say is i would say that i i wished my parents waited a little bit longer to have that i don't even know if that could be said because i feel like so many things can happen and you can still end up in the same spot so i'm not sure i i'm not sure what exact thing that i would change um i don't know i don't know i've my fear is changing anything is like the the butterfly effect or like you change one thing and it ends up completely like 10 times worse so i feel like let's just leave it there and yeah i feel like anything else who knows what it could be like i think we're gonna skip this one because i feel like i've already like the first two episodes was literally me doing this which is just take four minutes and tell your life story as much detail as possible the next one if you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability what would it be i feel like i would take away my anxiety i feel like that would be that would be bad because i feel like it's useful so you're not just like not worried about anything happening but at the same time i feel like if i don't know i feel like it it would have been a lot better without having it and also my empathy I hate that. It sounds horrible, but I hate that. It's so hard for me to do things because I put myself in the other person's position and then I care so much about hurting them or how they're feeling in the situation that I don't want to do certain things that people just do without even thinking. So it sucks sometimes, but I'm very grateful for it on the other hand. So I guess it's... so i think it's just a very pro-con situation i don't know if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself your life in the future or anything else what would you want to know god wouldn't knowing like influence your decisions to make it not actually happen like this is all my thinking uh what would i want to know Okay, here's the, I would want to know, like, how and when I was gonna die. I feel like that's, like, the big one. Because then I feel like I wouldn't try to prevent it. Because I'm like, it's gonna happen no matter what. I would feel like I could prepare for it. I don't know if you could, like, I don't know, I would try to prepare for it. That would be my goal. Is there something that you've dreamt of doing for a long time? Why haven't you done it? I guess I've always wanted to start off like an like a real family not a real family but i guess i've always wanted to like to have kids but at the same time like i don't know if it's like the best decision for me personally so then it's like oh is this the time am i ready for this i don't know what is the greatest accomplishment in your life i don't know I think I'm most I'm most proud of like how like the impact that I leave on people which is like really hard and it it really hurts me if like you like if I leave like the wrong impact which I'm trying to work on but I feel like my greatest accomplishment would be like how people view me but not so much of like oh my god that i think that girl's cool or whatever it's so much of like okay this this person um i don't know i don't know how to describe it uh this person didn't harm me i don't know what's the the the baseline for that. I guess I just, uh, I want to leave a good impact. Not a massive. Just, like, a nice impact and leave the world better than where you left it. If that's possible. Maybe a little worse. What do you value most in a friendship? Well, as you can see, as I don't have many friends. Um, I think it's loyalty and- not so much of like they can't be around anyone else but you but so much like loyal to you when you're not around you know what i mean so like if someone's like disrespecting you they're not going to be like piling on behind your back that type of person i feel like that really rubs me the wrong way because i feel like if you're having a fight like face to face that's whatever i feel i feel like you can figure that out but that one really rubs me the wrong because then i'm just like oh you seem very fake what is your most treasured memory oh this is just sad i don't even know if i have one like i don't know this is so sad i don't think i have a treasured memory um i guess when i'm like looking back like nostalgia i always think back to when all my siblings were like kids we like when we were all kids if it like the times we were living in were probably like one of the worst times it was it was there at points where it was really nice so like i can look back Now and I look back and I'm like, oh my god nostalgia So that's nice if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly Would you change anything about the way you were living and why okay? We kind of answered that one Yeah, I think I just said that I would just try to prepare I want to try to let if you died in one year. Well, that's extreme I think I would. Maybe for that one, you have one year. Yeah. Wouldn't that be like the worst prank ever? Like April fools, you're not going to die, but you ruined your life. That sounds horrible. Okay. One year. Yeah. No. Everything would be gone. Like you would, if you were going into a nine to five job and you have one year to live, that's ridiculous. That's like humanity has failed you at that point. um i think i would just try to do everything that i want to do before i live while having an existential crisis is i think what i would do um what does friendship mean to you friendship i think it's just like caring about someone on almost the same level you care about yourself and if you're me sometimes more and when i say that it doesn't mean like like people would be like just because you care you have to solve every problem that's not necessarily what i mean it's more of like oh you care about that they're actually in that situation that's what i mean like if you if you have someone in your life and they're struggling and you don't care about that i don't think you that's a friend in my opinion what roles do love and infection play in your life very major like do you like several factors i'm like an anxious wreck like i need like deep deep compressions to be basically like strangled on my body to feel good so i feel like not having affection is like one of my major like uh i'm going to like shrink up into a cocoon and die like it's so sad like if i was like not in the mood like nothing was putting me in the mood I could probably go without sex for like crazy long time. Like, oh my god. affection on the other hand i feel like oh my god that would kill me i don't i don't think i could go without that one like it's like oh i need it so bad okay so we're doing positive care characteristic okay i can say a word i love that you constantly think about people before yourself i love that making other people happy makes you happy I love how non-judgmental you are and how safe of a person you are. I love that you make me laugh. And I love that you have the same fucked up sense of humor that most people can't tolerate. Okay, now done with the gushy stuff that makes everyone with intimacy issues uncomfortable. Speaking of intimacy issues, how close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was- happier than most other people's um i feel like okay i feel like i was a happy kid at moments it wasn't like 24 7 i was walking down with a smile on my face it was just like things that wouldn't normally make people happy made me happy so i feel like that was the oh my god what the fuck but i feel like my childhood wasn't actually that happy I feel like I do I am I do I feel like a lot of families do have a lot worse relationships with their family I can't speak there are things about my that without going to an into it on the internet publicly there are some things about my family that I don't like but I feel like I am um I'm very lucky at certain aspects of having certain people in my life for family And I do realize that. But there's also aspects of my life where I'm just like, maybe we can just forget that this ever happened. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother? I have a very, what is it, tumultuous relationship with my mom. We've gone, I don't know, we've gone from places of being very close to... i don't i don't know this is what was the question again how do i feel about my relationship with my mother um i wish it could be better i feel like everyone wishes like they have this idea in their head on what they want their parents to be like just like they have for their children and then when it doesn't compete it doesn't compare to what they have in their mind she's my mom so i feel like no matter what she's always going to be mad so i think that's what i'll say oh my god this is so like therapy speak make three true we statements each for instance we are both in this room feeling what okay so is this supposed to make us feel like connected it's supposed to make us feel like um oh i see okay so like we're both on this podcast okay So we're hopefully gonna watch all the whole podcast. I'm so bad at this. I don't know how to do restatements. Are we gonna be okay? I feel like that's a good one. These are getting tricky. Okay, I did not graduate with a therapy degree. Complete this sentence. I wish I had someone with whom I could share time, vulnerability. um safety i know i was supposed to just give one i gave three if you were going to become a close friend with your partner please share what would be important for him or her to know what wait so you're becoming a friend with them that's so weird what this is so weird okay what okay this makes no if you are going to become a close friend so like you're taking the romance out um i guess for me i'm very high maintenance uh and if you're like not on my mind or waving in my face i can be absent-minded friend which sucks and i hate it so much but there's also times where like i can still be thinking about something but then due to like five million things that are going on or my up emotional state i decide not to go there which is not really the best decision tell your partner what you like about them be very honest this time saying things you might not say to someone you just met oh this is so hard for me not like uh thinking of it but thinking it but articulating it that just sounds so up um i guess the number one which would be i love how you make me feel be very honest i feel like i'm just saying the same things over and over i feel like the number one thing is the ability to just completely be yourself around someone without them automatically like pulling out a gun and shooting you that's such a fucked up comparison but you know what i'm you know what i'm saying like it's literally like you being able to be vulnerable with someone and them not judging you in that moment i feel like that almost over every anything will always be the top like the best an embarrassing moment in your life okay i got one oh my god this is really so i i don't know how old i was i think i was like i must have been like nine it was like way older like it was but you know how the swings at the park there's like the swing sets that they like the normal ones and then they have like the the ones that are like safe so that you can put like toddlers in it or whatever for some reason at the age of like seven or nine I decided to try to sit into the infant-sized seat and literally got stuck in there because I couldn't get out. I didn't call, but someone, I think it was my sister, they had to call the mechanic to come up and literally cut me out of the swing because I was so, I was stuck in there so much. This is the second time this happens to me, but it was so embarrassing. scene it was at the park and like everyone was like looking at this dude literally cutting me out of the swing i don't know how much it costs the park because i decided to literally sit in a child's side oh my god i was so smart when did you last cry in front of another person or by yourself i hate crying in front of people i literally despise it i like a good cry by yourself i think it's very therapeutic i don't think it's good to hold it in i'm not by myself a lot So I feel like a good shower cry sounds so fucked up, but I'll cry in the shower because like the shower, you know, disguises your tears. This is horrible. I don't know. I don't like showing emotion. I don't like being vulnerable in front of people. And even if like I do, like it's so because then like why are you unless it's something like where it's like I've broke down over someone dying before. i hyper hypervenom i can't speak i hyperventilate i'm the person like literally i'll start crying and then i'll get worked up and then i can't breathe and it literally feels like you're dying like i know some people had like had panic attacks i've literally called an ambulance because they thought they were dying and then they got told they're like no you just had a panic attack but they don't know what's happening in their own body it's just very scary it's really scary tell your partner something you like about them already they're sexy ass what if anything is too serious to be joked about i have a up sense of humor like i will joke about my own personal traumas and like i have a very up sense of humor and sometimes i feel like it does cross the line but i feel like I usually, my thing is, like, what is the purpose of this joke? Is this to, like, mock and belittle someone? Or is this to, like, us, like, lightheartedly joke our way through this? It's hard to necessarily, it's always, it's somehow, it's hard to see which one it is. But if you're able to figure it out, I feel like I'm much more, I can be a lot more accepting. Also, people learn, grow in, like, age. I feel like if everyone had what they did when they were like 20 on the internet for the rest of their life their life would be ruined like i feel like no one's pigeonholed to that same thing as like no one remembers it's not like stained on history i guess there's like there's lines that like should never be crossed if you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone what would you most regret not having told someone why haven't you told them yet this is morbid i would regret not going for the things that i'm too scared of whatever could happen. Because I guess that's the thing of like when you're at that that line of like, OK, well, it's done all the times and you're like, oh, my God, this could have gone bad. But you're like, well, you could have done it and you would have known no matter if you failed. Obviously not like hurting anyone, but like you just be like you feeling bad is something that you can get over. You can look up, you can look back and see, oh, I tried and I actually went through every opportunity that I could get. to see if it was possible and i feel like you're gonna you're gonna have no regrets your house containing everything you own catches fire after saving your loved ones and pets you have time to safely make a final dash to save only one item what would it be why okay i i'd uh let's not get into my possessions i guess for this it has to be something that is um like it has to be something personal it has to be something that like you can't buy again i don't think i have anything this is just a sad ass podcast this is like i don't have anything i'm sorry i'm just eeyore of all the people in your family whose death would you find most disturbing and why well anyone in my immediate family i would be very disturbed for and probably but I feel like like the most like you're not supposed to do this but I feel like the person it was probably my sister um me and my sister Lakshmi were very close growing up uh like best friends still to this day it's just I'm very bad at um maintaining people in my life we're both bad at it so i feel like that's why we're we both have equal intimacy issues share a personal problem and ask advice on how to handle it also ask to there's a lot of asking so versus to ask a personal problem um So we're just going to ask a personal problem to the void. Okay. How would a modern day Romeo and Juliet get together? I know that's not like the usual problem. But I feel like that's when we can end with. So thank you for listening to me rant on. I know this was not the most interesting podcast. I feel like I say that every week. I'm sorry. I'm just a boring person. I'm really apologize. I appreciate listening. And I appreciate you guys coming. I can't fucking speak. And I'll see you next week. Bye.
