Speaker #0um this one i'm going to talk about oh my god that's loud Talk about something that I honestly thought I would never bring up. I thought it would be just like something that I did when I was younger and would get forgotten about and never... Very stupidly. But, uh... I'm going to talk about my OnlyFans. Which I think are basically not, I wouldn't say over, obviously. I think people are still actively creating content on that. And I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I actively support it. Oh my god. Sorry if I look a little crazy too. But I guess what I wanted to talk about is my experience with it, my thoughts on it, and what the platform, what I think about the people, and what I think about the experience, and what happened when I did it. Obviously, it's something that people are like, it could be life-ruining, or... take away opportunity opportunities in the future that you could have gotten but in my particular circumstance i honestly didn't think there was going to be a career or something that um i was going to be able to do full-time so my plan was like I'll just do this on the side and if I like happens to make millions then I'll be okay obviously that did not happen I mean like the whole platform on of OnlyFans is kind of a little irked of there's so many there's like my experience and then there's the whole i would say um what you would assume an only fan experience would be like so if you guys don't know i'm gonna explain how only fans worked or at least worked when i used it you basically it's like it's like putting a flash drive in like freaking security security box and then people just pick up the flash drive like it's basically it could be anything like it's obviously known to be sexual content but you could have like i've seen people have like workout stuff i've seen people have like normal everyday things um it's not all just adult content but to access it you usually just get a description a photo and like the amount of stuff that is on the site currently and then you have to pay a subscription to access that site to even see what's on it but that's just like the it's supposed to be like just like the base site where it's usually just like i will say like light if it is if it is adult content it's going to be very like light like um what do they call like soft cord porn porn or whatever nothing it's gonna it's probably the big money content is gonna be later which is the content that's sent out so usually people will send like and it could be like a six minute video and it could be priced anywhere from like $60 to $200 but the one good thing about that price is that you get to keep it forever so I guess that's cool I think it's interesting for like, I think of it like going to like a vegan restaurant because I feel like it's like ethically healthier. I don't know if that makes sense. And so you feel better. And so I feel like it could be, they could, something could be sustainable that way. I honestly think someone just needs to launch some sort of like subscription service that like helps people produce. content independently especially when it's that type of content but so there's like this like curse not curse but like this nomer stereotype of what only fans is supposed to be like um and uh i mean some of it's true i before i started i wanted to try i think i got two only fans subscriptions like way before i even started and i remember one of them was like straight up what everyone assumed it was about which is like a girl putting like a very sexually misleading title and then you click on it and it's a different type of video like obviously it never upset i only did it once like i um or twice but it didn't upset me i wasn't like i i think i i felt too um it felt too wrong to be upset about slighted about something like that i was just like okay whatever this person i don't understand how it the platform is literally like built for something like that to happen like there's no such thing as like refunds you can't see the content until you purchase it like it doesn't even get sent to you until you purchase it and then there's like two tiers of like purchasing where you have to get the subscription to even get the second one sent out that's like the higher priced one like it gets ridiculous ridiculously expensive um and i i guess a lot of people got scorned by that uh i think when people hear like heard all the like the articles of like blah blah made millions of dollars on only fans all the girls wanted to like hop on because they're like okay i can if i can make millions of dollars taking pictures of my feet then i'm gonna do that but i think in actuality it's not actually how that works i had a different plan i'll talk about what i wanted to do but i feel like a lot of a lot of girls thought that it was going to be like this instant money making opportunity where you have to do nothing which i think for a lot of people who already had a platform and who already put in the effort um to try to be known on any level who that just started at only fans after i think they could have done it a lot easier but if people a lot of people are just starting out and going on only fans in it you wasn't working out because they didn't really understand on how that was going to work and i think yeah i think a lot of a lot of people were just misled because with the the numbers that were being thrown out people thought like oh my god people were becoming instant millionaires by this which it just was not happening and then uh a lot of people were there's just a lot of bad behavior not bad behavior just like manipulative behavior going that made a bad name for everyone on the website. I mean I think I got attacked so much especially with anything where anything where you had your your your OnlyFans link in your description was just like an instant trigger because apparently anything that you're doing must be for a promotion for xyz. it always pissed me off because like every almost every person on social media has a promotion link like they have an amazon storefront they have maybe they have a perfume out they have a book they have blah blah blah blah that they're constantly promoting but somehow the only fans girls were like the or the only fans people were the only ones that um got sticked for it kind of pissed me off honestly you My, um, my plan was a little bit different. I was, I wanted, I wanted to eventually, um, oh my god, my plan did not end up working. Mostly, the, it's, there's not much, I hate talking when I say this because there's certain things that I can't say and I'm trying not to say and I'm, I'm not going to say. So then it makes me hard to try to be like, okay, well, how do I explain this story to you on what happened? I basically had a plan on what I wanted to do. There was specific content that I wanted to put out on specific time. I made like constant like schedules for myself and I would post them in the description, which was like no one. that I saw at the time was I saw do it it was usually just be like something like a catchy tagline but it was never like a description of what was actually in the channel and i was just like okay people don't know who i am and i'm trying to get a random person to buy to buy basically something that they're not gonna normally buy might as well tell them what's in it instead of be like i didn't want it to be like okay here you want to buy this like mystery bag that you don't really know what you're gonna get i feel off it I felt like I would get a lot of bad reactions if I did that so that was not my goal and so I ended up posting how my schedule on what I wanted to post and this the content on how I wanted to post and because none of what I was doing I was doing solo at the at the time and then there was always nine million things going on I don't live alone in you there was like there's so many things happening that it was making every deadline and that I made myself or everything that I wanted to put out not happen so eventually I would literally I gave up at a certain point like I posted so much on my main site like for free like if if I if i would have actually priced it how other people would have priced it one i don't think as many people would have bought it i probably would have made more money though which sucks because i made because my plan was to build a following and keep that following and then keep it consistent and keep it going and build up for that that did not happen which um So then there were so many things that was happening. I was like, there's a certain point at No Return when I was just like, okay, this isn't happening. There's so many times where I like, okay, I told people this is not how it's going to be anymore. It's going to be changed. I think there's a couple times where I just took the description out completely and I'm just like, you can subscribe when you want to subscribe. God knows what's going to be posted when. I wish there was a button where they let you click. closed down if they literally just be like okay no one can subscribe anymore so then as soon as you wanted to continue because i wanted to do it as like a freelance thing it was supposed to be like a side thing you know something like you're not actually not not a side thing but you know what i mean it was supposed to be a hustle not like an actual job so it wasn't supposed to have a lot of time and effort and i had planned shit so that i could film it without a lot of time and effort and um somehow it did not end up happening and at a certain point I had gotten it was like a point of no return where I'm just like I've gone way too far in in the what I wanted to get out of it I didn't get out of it so then I was just like okay I got really upset and then um a lot of the things were happening in Something finally broke the camel's back and I was like, okay, I'm not I'm not gonna do this anymore and I literally just Deleted my whole OnlyFans which took me so long like it was so hard. I used to There would be promotions. It was like I think this was way back before it was acquired by Elon Musk and he changed it to eggs but It was, uh, it was when it was Twitter and I was basically trying to find a way to like, find a following of people. I don't know. You know what I mean? Find people that are actually interested in buying it. Cause there were, there were a lot of people, um, they were honestly a lot of people understood. That sounds horrible. There were. I don't know how to walk my way out of this. The market was there, is what I'm trying to say. It wasn't that necessarily wasn't on the people's fault. It was 99% not be able to deliver on what I was going to deliver. And so one of the ways I did promotion was on Twitter. And they would have... So I followed this one account, which I'm pretty sure I found out later wasn't even the actual account. like the but it was somewhat they had like 500 000 subscribers it was it was insane and every like thread that they did got like millions of views like millions of views every single one of them so all they would do is like announce us like a specific type of video of like a category they would place the video or photo and then everyone would do the same whatever category it was could have been legs which i mean it's a mess i'm getting creepy i gotta stop doing that uh the it's based on what i was saying the so basically people would just post in a thread of like uh whatever conduct was in the title and because it was a thread the first one would um because they had so many followers it would go viral not viral well yeah viral two million that's it's viral in my opinion and then everyone would who viewed the first one would read the comments and basically all the views would go down to the comments so it was literally i think the most time i ever got any traction it's not i'm not proud of it i think i got like one with like it wasn't all it was in the it was definitely close in the millions and i stopped doing it because i'm just like oh you get a video that's like almost a million views you're definitely gonna get like 10 of that for people no no not not one of them not one of the people actually wanted to purchase any of the content so then it just became a whole waste of time of shit and I'm just like I know there are like girls on Instagram who would like artistically post their bodies and I'm not there's nothing wrong with that I'm just it's not something that I'm very comfortable with at all like at all at any point and so I think there was a point again I said I've never turned when I was literally like okay this is literally just fucking up my life and there are so many there are so many consequences that were happening like i i was being this like harassed in life weirdly enough like i would have i don't know if it was like weird timing but i would have like people like what not people i don't i don't leave the house i had this like one dude come up and literally like i'm not gonna say what happened but i was literally i i'm gonna say something it was something that was literally like i can't believe you were doing this in front of your child and it was something that i was he was like literally like mimicking like trying to teach his child to do and i remember what just literally being in the moment like okay this is the state of the world or someone's literally gonna come up to you and treat you like shit You're supposed to just like sit there and take it and be like, yep, that's a total normal reaction to have to seeing someone in person. Like there's so many things like that incident that were piling up and so many other things that were happening that I was like, OK, this is crazy. This is gone. It got to a point when I was like, this is not worth it. If I want to do something like this, I can do this completely differently. This is not something that I thought was worth it or something I was comfortable with. And I think... I think I'm just gonna leave it at that. And I'm sad because it would have been nice to be like, yeah, I made five, ten million dollars on OnlyFans. Like, yeah, that's the life. That would be awesome. You know, it's kind of frustrating when you put like, I don't know. I don't even think I was doing it for a full year. And it was like a lot of effort and then you just it's instantly just gone It's upsetting but we move on we realize we make mistakes Realize that we're not children and we will continue Oh all my writings in blue that looks really cool welcome back to the break again with no ads how did that feel like i'm a fucking radio host okay so i wanted to talk about something there was a term i wanted to like bring up but then i'm just like let's not step on that stone right now because i don't know what's gonna happen you So I'm gonna say, I don't know how to phrase this. I'm gonna, I'm gonna talk about people, um, say this. There is a word for it. I, I want to talk, I talk about people, what is it, like, being unfair. Let's just talk about what I want to talk about without defining. Um, so basically I want to talk about how let's just say two people do the same exact um thing right and one of them is literally the phrase on why we have on basically getting away with murder excuse my partner in the background and the other person literally tends to get persecuted either like non-stop you so like for like a very long time or like a lot of people at once so like let me give you a quick reference of like modern day which can't be honestly um avoided because of the internet so a lot of this happens because let's just say we're watching a vlog and it's a vlog that is going viral and ever everyone in the world is watching right now for for whatever reason something happens in the said vlog let's just say something that's very offensive and it triggers people and it offends people when they see it and their their responses to like lash out um at this person online right which which someone could say justified be like okay if you're gonna say that you cannot expect someone not to say something back Which we could have that argument. We could not have that argument. Oh my god, this chorus. The problem comes is that you're not the only one that has that reaction. So if you're lashing out and this is being viewed by 300,000 people that are all lashing out at the same. time could you could you imagine being chased by 300 000 people like do you understand on how crazy that actually is i feel like we have this like this is so broken sorry we have this like deluded perception of um like the online world and how we treat people online and one of them literally being that like okay yeah the whole world is attacking one person right now that's totally normal and i'm not talking about like someone who's done like a crime i'm talking about someone that's like maybe worn green you know someone that's like done something that's maybe an infraction but not really that it should not warrant this level of absurdity and um i think uh the problem the problem does come when you go and someone's literally getting attacked non-stop and the other person can literally like get away with murder you know what i mean like no matter what they do there are almost no consequences to their actions ever and this person is literally being like having their hands tied behind their back because of the constant consequences every little tiny step they're making like obviously online's a completely different experience because it's usually happening because you either have a following um or following of some kind like it's usually happening because a lot of people are watching you at once versus the person you are and i think when it's the person you are i think i've seen that a lot it pisses me off the online one pisses me off too i'm not gonna lie i think people have a little different they they think it's like part of the job which i mean i feel like i don't know how we control that i don't know how as a society we'd be like okay everyone stop there's no more time to punish this person who did something really horrible let's just stop like i don't know how that happens like because it's i don't think it's a uniform thing sometimes it is but i think a lot of times the whole world is literally just pissed and they're trying to justify it or make up and see that's that's one thing that I like saying is like when you're in that moment of anger is thinking to yourself of am I doing this to make myself feel better which is not necessarily bad but it's bad when it involves another person or am I doing this to actually fix the problem you So if me lashing out on this random person online, is this going to fix them? Is this going to get them to stop the behavior? Or am I doing this because I'm literally just so frustrated I want to lash out on someone? Because obviously the first one I'm not, obviously the first one I get and I'm just like, okay, we need to find healthy forms of expressing this healthy emotion other than using someone to do that. that doesn't really want you to do that so obviously it's the thing of like is it justified or not I think a lot of times it's not in people's control either so even if you're just like oh I'm just doing this to make me feel better I'm lashing out because I can't take this anymore and I'm having difficult containing whatever's happening I feel like people are like okay well i'm not it's not like it's obviously it's a choice like you're choosing to do it but i think when people what people i think people mean is it's hard like it's a really hard thing to do it's like um you know you're pushing something under the water for like the longest time and hoping it doesn't pop up in your face and you're just like this is possible you can do this like there are things that they can be brought in and techniques that you can learn on what works for you and what does not work for you. But the actual reality is it's freaking hard. And people not acknowledging that is always like invalidating. It made people think that what's actually happening shouldn't be happening. And it's all natural and it's all perfectly fine. And I don't think there's anything wrong with... any of it um i don't know i think i just think i'm thinking with myself when i am in that position to actually not explode you know what i mean when you're when you can be like okay i'm gonna step away i'm going to redirect myself into something that's not going to hurt myself or hurt someone else you can be like okay so what am i doing what am i doing this for like you is this going to solve the problem or am I just doing this because I can't I can't take this anymore because if I'm if I'm able to calm myself down and I'm able to regulate myself and I'm able to find other ways to redirect what I'm feeling then I'm not going to I'm not going to inflict that on someone by choice it's not going to be okay I'm feeling like I don't want to try today you So I don't want to do that. I don't want to, if it's in my control or if it's something that is possible, and you don't want to always beat yourself up on something that is not always possible, especially depending on different people for different reasons. And, sorry, my voice. I think a lot of times with... everything people like to reverse the said treatment to so if you have someone that's like like i said getting away with murder they feel people feel like they need to unfairly punish them for nothing so that we're i under i understand why that happens i understand that so much but i get to a point where i'm just like you Okay, if I'm in a position again to not do this I'm not gonna do this. It's not gonna happen. I need to get a new court. Jesus Christ. So that's, I think that's where I'm gonna, I think we're gonna call it unfair prosecution. Modern unfair prosecution. Next to try not to be scammed on OnlyFans. oh my god that's people's like favorite go-to i think is like like what i said earlier people are so afraid again it's different when it's anything with sexuality let me be very clear but i think people are very afraid of being called creeps and when they're just like okay i can't make this sexual i can't make this anything to do with that i i want to see what i want to see you know what i mean so they're just like how do i justify this oh my god they're scamming me this is my issue now not what i wanted to see like i obviously i used to complain about it i would hear certain cases of certain celeb celebrities just certain stories that i was just like i can't believe this is crazy like this is so misleading and especially when like you get like millions of dollars out of it i'm just like i did get a little a little fussy about it but then i don't know i feel like again i'm more on the side of like it feels like an issue that i don't want to push it might just be me like i i said i did two videos and this the second video i got um it was a normal video like i think people are just I think the whole point of OnlyFans is it's supposed to be like YouTube. It's supposed to be something where it's personal from people, where it's literally going to be like their home videos type of stuff. And so I think a lot of people, they don't, I don't think a lot of people that used it, used it. I don't think people had like, okay, I have 20 OnlyFans accounts. I think they used it one time, had a bad experience, and now they're going to paint that on the whole industry. Like I stopped. And I had this huge, again, viewpoint on how I, on how I, what I thought about different industries. And, um, I still 100% agree with what I, what I was saying. And I, I thought OnlyFans was another, another way where you, it's just, it's in the control of someone completely. Especially if someone's doing adult content. forcing someone to do adult content is never something i'm ever going to be comfortable with in my life ever and knowing that people are putting in a position where people get upset when people film tv shows and you find out that someone showed their boobs and they couldn't say no and people don't give a shit about the fact that how many people are working in the adult industry and are doing stuff that they're not comfortable with but they don't have the agency or the autonomy to say no and I I think that's a bit ridiculous that's the most thing that upsets me more than anything is someone being in a position where they cannot say no and it's going to be the thing it's more it's really one of my triggers and I don't know I know I'm not supposed to be done talking about this it really it just really upsets me because I feel like I don't know it's a lot of people are in such a vulnerable position I don't think a lot of people even account to that. It can be a little gross not viewing these people of, okay, this isn't McDonald's. This is a human being. Guys, this isn't like, oh my god, why didn't I get ketchup on my fries? This is a completely different situation. And people not realizing that is a little upsetting to me. I don't know. I think I'm done talking about that because I went a while. i went on about it way too long what i know i've talked about this one before and i'm gonna try not to be by the way why i have these glasses that i just i don't like these glasses i think they don't look good on me is because my dog that i have got so god damn nervous so anxious She literally chewed my entire- my glasses. Like, she literally chewed my entire glasses. She's fine. I thought she got, like, glass and- She's freaking fine. but she chewed my i've never seen that in my entire life i've never seen someone so anxious that they literally she's like i'm gonna i digress i gotta get i gotta get new glasses because i don't like these i just don't think they look good for my face also my hair is natural as you can tell because it's summer and it's about to die i know i was about to do a quick leave i've changed my mind I'm either because it's too hot. I can't. I know there's some girlies that there's people that can just fucking kill it in the summer. I cannot. I'm either going to do my hair natural or I'm going to have braids. It's going to be one or the other. It's too hot. I've had a weave during the summer before and it's hell. It's literally hell. So that's not going to be something that's going to happen. But as I said before, this is something that. I've talked about a lot. I know it can be a little bit annoying, but it's just something that really got stuck in my head. And that's literally all that I do this podcast, which is 100% going to be confirmed every two weeks. I know, commitment. But the thing that I want to talk about, I think I lightly touched on before. And as I was saying, how I do this is I basically, whenever something pops in my head. I'm thinking about something or here's something here's something that makes me think about something I'll just write it down and at the end of the two weeks I'll have this list of random shit it's usually like the same stuff that I was thinking about and one of them is literally I'm like how do I voice this it was literally like the enjoyment of something versus the quality of the product because it really I've been thinking about this so much because I'm just like the reason why this is so absurd is because we're comparing two different cats two different categories which is one did you enjoy this whatever you're watching and two is did whatever you're watching what is the quality of it like how would you rate the quality of the product that you actually watch which is like okay i had this is the best burger place they make a greasy burger it's like 20 bucks at this food cart food cart in this weird alley that no one goes to it's fucking mom right But that's not going to be something that you would submit to be at like a chef's culinary competition. You know, you know what I mean? It would be two different categories of like, yeah, this is probably one of the best foods you've ever had. But does that make it like culinary, like five star dining? No. I'm like, oh, my God. We watched this two second TikTok that made us literally cry laughing. Like literally we were. done obsessed with it versus to like the most critically acclaimed movie we've ever seen that took like nine months and two hundred thousand dollars to make i think it's comparing two different products i think it's just like okay i can watch a movie like that and i can look at this and i can be like jesus christ the visuals are amazing the amount of it took them to focus on the script that they they took like the way that it's like the cinematography i think i brought that up like the music is amazing like everything you're watching and you're just like wow i'm just taking this in and this is just a really amazing piece of whatever it is and then you you're just like but i don't actually like it This isn't something that I would enjoy. This isn't something that I like. This isn't something that I would put on 24-7 because it's my favorite thing. This is something that's like, oh my god, you guys did something amazing. But I didn't really enjoy it. So then you're just like, okay, we have two different categories now. Which is, did this do the job? Which is like, do you like this? Did this actually make you feel good? Are you dying inside waiting for this to come out? Is this like literally your favorite thing? You're crying, you're laughing, you're feeling, you're enjoying. Versus the quality of how much time and effort it took them to make it. The quality of how it came out. Like... I bet we could find a video on YouTube with like 300 million views that was shot on like a flip phone. and i bet we could find a movie that was probably at like almost like half a million dollars that got almost no views and then so you come at the point and you're just like that's why it's frustrating it's frustrating because someone who is literally putting their whole life soul body and effort into literally gets no recognition for it so then what's the what's the um what's going to what's going to enable them sorry uh to enable them what's gonna even like push them to keep doing that if no one's even acknowledging the quality of content that's actually happening no one actually even enjoys it what's the what's the you point of actually continuing at the same time you know people are sick of fan service people get tired of that where you're literally building a piece of content a hundred percent just for people to enjoy which then it takes away of oh this is my job this isn't an art form i don't really care the product that comes out i just care if i make money you I care if I get recognition. I care if I get the applause. And the more I think about it, the more I think it's just, we should just have two separate categories. Like, I don't think it's something that should be compared. I think it should be like, okay, did you enjoy this point blank? Like, I've seen a couple of videos online, honestly, that have a lot of views and I'm like, okay, I didn't enjoy it. And so then like, that's how you get to, uh, people complaining about the crap where they complain about everything but that's that's how you get to people complaining like oh my god there's no good content online because you didn't enjoy it and it wasn't made with a lot of quality and effort so then what did you take out of that content nothing literally nothing i feel like when when there's a bad movie people are literally be like okay well it's their job at least like it's a it's a hit hit and a miss but they spent like nine months four months depending on whatever doing a nine to five job with a lot of effort and a lot of money so i think obviously oh god for them jesus christ this is it just keeps going in and out you This, uh, I think for them it's just, I lost my train of thought. I don't know. I just, I don't think it's something that should be compiled. But I think it's, it's how our world operates is no one's even gonna give your, because at the end of the day, even when they make that effort and you're just like, okay, they still got to say that this is a quality piece of content, even if no one enjoyed it. There's still a... they're still the ones that lost out on like a lot a lot of money so i think that can be upsetting after a time rather than being like which i i do know there are people that online that are basically like businesses themselves now like i know that exists in it almost basically everyone with multiple millions of subscribers in my opinion would be on the same level of like a doctor like they're basically like small they're not even small businesses they're basically like businesses at a point especially when you go to the the top ones then it's it's just a completely different experience i don't know much so i'm going to stop talking about this but i know a lot of people are getting mad when i'm going to say that they don't try on the internet because it's you literally their whole career so i know that there are people where it literally is their whole career and i know that's a lot of people's goals but most people are literally just putting stuff on the internet so oh god the content that's out there is not really gold and then you get a video of someone going to the dentist it's literally the funniest thing you've ever seen so that's when i'm literally like i'm just like it's it frustrates me because I used to be in that mindset I think I think I took people off their pedestal where I would be like oh my god they're so otherworldly of these people that we look up to And it's not that I think they're horrible people. I think it's just, I've come to the realization that they're just people. They're literally no different than the people that we meet in the day. Other than that we appreciate the piece of work that they did. Or if it's an entertainment, it's usually their personality. Because they're called personalities. So. that i think that's when the line gets a little blurred because you're just like you're enjoying watching them live their life so then instead of being like okay well i like this product that's literally when it's like okay this is also a person reality sucks oh my god i'm such a cynic oh this is such a weird thing i don't know why it gets it i have such weird topics on things i wanted to talk about and this one is the one that i talk about constantly because it really bugs me um is the i don't know if you guys heard of the first magnet before i think everyone knows about it but the thing that bothers me is how people throw it around like they don't know what it means And I understand because I don't know what half a shit means, but literally it bugs me off so much because I'm just like, do you know that this doesn't mean that you can say whatever you want? It means that the government is not going to restrict your speech or your religion and it's giving you the right to do whatever you want. So. obviously people can still make policy policies on whatever they want to happen obviously people are you're still gonna deal with the consequences obviously like i'm just so tired of someone just saying something and then be like man freedom of speech i can say whatever i want i'm just like it just pisses me off because i'm just like okay that That means that, like, if you want to talk shit about your president, he's not going to kill you in front of the whole world. That's what that means. That doesn't mean that so you can go up into your school and start saying slurs everywhere. Like, people misinterpret it so much and it leads to so much, like, I don't know, misunderstanding. I think that the consequences thing is, like, the- to people like the it gets to me because i'm just like do they just think that that's not gonna happen like they're gonna get no consequences for this it pisses me off like obviously even hate speech is illegal when it's like done with assault so like if someone is like assaulting you like punching you and they're like saying slurs that's a hate crime and that is transitioned into a hate crime what is wrong with me um and basically it's just a completely different level um and people can eat it because it is illegal 100 but i think the the number one thing is like there's no way for them to pass a law for them to restrict that unless people want to change the constitution which i don't know i'm pretty sure i did that was associate with slave owners you didn't hear that what did i say let's move on to the other topic oh my god i wanted to push this to an hour i think the last thing i want to talk about is going to be really really short and that's like basically i know i keep talking about it Which is my, um, what are my plans on with Hollywood? Because we know that I've, I did like a independent film when I was like eight. It was a really long time ago. Obviously, it's something that's like a dream. who does not want to be a rock star there's not like one person that's gonna be like no but i think it's like the fact of like the probability of that shit actually happened and i think there is when you're a kid you live in that bubble of like dreaming when you're just like i'm gonna have a dream i'm going to wish that this happens and it i think i'm just past the the i'm past the the time where you're literally just dreaming of the what you want to do you know when you're younger you're literally like i want to be a fireman i want to be blah blah blah i want to be a movie star and then you're literally like but this isn't gonna happen and i'm not gonna waste my life devoting to trying to make that happen because that's a little bit one in a million if you know what i mean so i i think yes that would be something that would i think everyone would think would be something that they would want to do but i don't think i don't think that's in my the cards for corner i don't think that's something that's gonna happen I don't think anyone would cast me. I think I've tried. I tried to get a part of an agency once. They didn't even reply to me. Like, I think you've reached a point where you have to get lucky. You have to get someone to take a chance on you or to discover you if you have talent. And basically... not because you have to be in that sweet spot where like if you're trying stuff online and that gets successful that's gonna take it away from you doing anything traditional so like if you do make it online then you're basically like your own independent channel you are now cbs you're now i don't know any channel names um oh yeah we'll go with cbs i like cbs i don't know what's on cbs but you know what i mean you're basically your own channel now you're in control it's all independent you're all responsible fully for it but then you get a hundred percent of the profit you have to pay a hundred percent of the uh but it's obviously you it's a lot more freedom but then it's not like everyone's goal again you know it's not everyone's dream So I think people are, you can't do both. I've never seen it successfully done. You like, if you've like succeeded successfully, like as an online personality, transitioning to traditional media is almost like unheard of. Like it just doesn't happen. And then I guess people from traditional trans, I don't think that happens. I think they have like clauses on their contracts. So then it's just like. You're either hoping that you actually get casted for whatever you wanted, or you're hoping that you're actually making successful as a online personality. Which honestly, both sound like a dream. I'm just saying, both sound like a really nice job. So I think it's good to dream, but the fact of like, am I going to put effort into making this happen? i don't think so because i don't think i think the online one is honestly a lot more in my grass on also i i can do it independently so even though it doesn't work there's like you know what i mean there's not like a waiting list anyone can try it which is why we have the platform but oh my god jesus christ again maybe just the most i think we're about to end with that um i don't know i think it would be really cool either way honestly um i mean some people do get discovered just by walking in the park wouldn't that be amazing someone just walks into me up to you and you're just like oh aren't you trying to steal my organs no gonna make your dreams come true i'm going to a crazy point so i'm gonna stop this soon um i'm trying to think if there's anything else i wanted to talk about um i think i said this before this is gonna go back to every two weeks so if there are i know like i don't get a lot of views so if there are actually people that are excited for this to come out and like wait for it i'm sorry um But it will be 100% every two weeks. Every two weeks, it's going to be posted. I'm doing this, honestly, because I'm trying to do a lot more other stuff. And so I thought it would free up time to do that stuff. all i'm trying to say the whole if you shouldn't have seen me i should have had other content posted for you and i'm sorry i did not do that i'm gonna try to do that more and i'm just gonna try more i i actually i enjoy doing my podcast it's just again it's forcing myself because to actually make it successful you have to be consistent and so i i could be like you I should try to do that would be like okay when I'm in the mood I'm just going to place the camera and start recording but normally I'd be like okay throughout the two weeks I'm thinking of okay what are topics what do I want to talk about what am I thinking about I'll write it down and then I write it down on actual script it's like note things uh bullet points in case I get spacey and after that basically memorizing it and filming it Now I'm just describing the point by point of how I post. But I was basically, I don't even know what the point was. But that's what I'm doing. So filming spur of the moment would be a little bit more complicated. So you're going to get this every two weeks. And if it feels a little like, like I don't want to do it, it's because I just have to do it this way. I'm going to eventually, I'll get, I'm going to get in a better system. um hopefully and i really like the gaming channel because it gives me um more time to like think about what i'm gonna say react to what's happening on screen instead of just me uh so i think i'm gonna be doing more of that i'm gonna have that listed below again with uh my partner's gaming channel too and i want oh my god you in case anyone didn't see uh we both posted our first video there's technical difficulties with his and mine was mine was okay we'll see uh i don't want to give deadlines again in case we i can't meet it but i guess i'm gonna try to post a cup i'll say a couple times a week for both of us um on our youtube because i hope um I helped set up the filming and edit for Marcus. So I have to find time to do that on top of everything else. And one of the main things I wanted to get back to. I've been wanting to get back to for a while is the vlogs. But I didn't want to do it until we moved. So I'm debating this. That's going to be the big comeback when I go on YouTube. It's going to be like a main vlog channel. And then maybe an occasional random video. But I'm going to do that. And I think I'm going to enjoy doing that. Because I think it's going to force me to step out of my comfort zone. And do things that I might be like very like awkward and uncomfortable with. But I think I'm just going to do it anyways. Because I don't know. I think it's just going to force myself. You actually have a good experience. Even if you're uncomfortable and awkward. Like I normally. Sometimes. I'm not going to remember that. I'm usually just going to remember the. the time that i had and the fun experience the experience that i had so we're gonna end this here we loved kamara's rant like and subscribe uh all my links will be down below if you're on youtube and i enjoyed talking to you guys again but being creepy i'm sorry I also just wanted to address, I hate saying, when I say creepy, I hate saying, um, I hate, I hate saying that when it's about anything to do with sexuality. So I wanted to be very clear. I'm talking about myself and how I don't want to feel like I am. I'm just going to end this here. Oh my God.
