Transcription

• Speaker #0

  Hello and welcome to Stop Wasting Your Life, the podcast. I'm Ava Heimbach, your host and founder, and I'm here today with Jamel, who is my energy healer, and she's also a lifestyle and wellness coach. But I started going to her a couple months ago, and every time I would talk to her, I would just think like, Like this is the coolest person ever. She knows so much about this. And I would sit there and I'm like, oh no, I hope she doesn't get annoyed by all my questions. Because I would just sit there and ask so many questions. And I am so intrigued by everything that she has to say. So I asked her to come on and just share with us about all things energy. So we're going to include some talks about energy cords and just the energy of, body as a whole and energy fields and even more things energy. As we talk, I'm sure there will be lots of energy comments and questions. So, be prepared for just a bunch of energy talk. But yeah. So, shall we begin?

• Speaker #1

  Let's begin. Thank you so much for that wonderful introduction. Yes,

• Speaker #0

  of course.

• Speaker #1

  Very kind words.

• Speaker #0

  And just a little reminder, we're still doing that five free nights in Hawaii giveaway. So you can enter to win a four bedroom, three bathroom house, three minutes away from the beach. It's really, really nice. You, it even comes with bikes. So you can ride the bikes to the beach if you want. But if that is something you're interested in, go to our website at www.stopwastingyourlifepodcast.com. Click on the giveaways tab and there you will find all the ways that you could enter into that drawing. And just another little disclaimer that I say before every single episode, but I want to make it very clear that there is no right or wrong way to live your life. And the definition of a fulfilling life is unique to each person. It's unique to me. It's unique to Jamel. It's unique to my producer, Kate. And I'm not here to tell you how to live your life, but I just want to give you ideas, knowledge, inspiration, and cool people to talk to so that you can create a life that is beautiful to you. Welcome to Stop Wasting Your Life, the podcast that helps you break free from a life of self-doubt and distraction and inspires you to create a fulfilling and purposeful life. Each week we dive into actionable advice. meaningful conversation, and insightful interviews to empower you to prioritize your well-being, pursue your passions, and become the best version of yourself. It's time to stop wasting your life and start building one that you are excited to wake up to. Once again, I'm Ava Heimbach, your host, and I'm here with Jamel, our wonderful guest, and this is Stop Wasting Your Life. So Jamel, just... Before we begin, maybe tell us a little bit about yourself, your story, your background with energy.

• Speaker #1

  Yeah, definitely. So my name is Jamel Zabla Maloney. I created and own Bare Roots Energy here in Lawrence, Kansas. It's a Reiki and meditation studio, but I do a lot of other things too. I do health and wellness coaching. And what I do mostly is energy healing. And that's where my real passion is. I was a special education teacher for 18 years and Life just kind of opened itself to this path for me. The first time I actually had an official Reiki energy healing was in Manhattan, Kansas, after my fiance had passed away. And the lady who did that treatment on me, her name was Martha. And I only went to her twice. And we just bonded automatically. She was a wonderful lady. She looked like she was in her 50s. And she was like 77. It was fascinating. Wow. And she did the treatment on me. And I was like, So what have I been doing the whole time? Because I have always been laying my hands on myself for healing purposes, even as a small child. And she told me what I was doing. And at that point, I had not been, you know, quote unquote, Reiki activated, but I was unknowingly doing the practice of hands-on healing. And so I was really encouraged by that. So I get these two treatments from her and I just kind of put it away because I was getting my undergrad at that time at K-State in special education. And so years down the road, you know, after 18 years of working in the field, this just kind of popped up as an opportunity. And so I took it and ran and it turned into something really amazing and fun. So that's where I'm at now. I'm just energy healing all day, every day. And it's, it's quite amazing.

• Speaker #0

  I little like side note, I actually A couple months ago, I was talking to one of my best friends, Hannah, actually, we met her, she was on this podcast, but I was talking to her about my anxiety. And I, we just kind of had this conversation. And I ended the conversation with, well, now what, like, I've tried a lot, and some things help and some things don't. And she said, Well, have you ever tried energy healing? And I was like, No, because it's something that I'm not used to. Like, I never grew up learning about energy healing. I feel like it's something that sometimes could be seen as like voodoo kind of, especially growing up in like the church. And I was like, no, I haven't. But I went and Googled energy healing in Lawrence, Kansas, and Jamel came up and I kind of just showed up at her office and was like, so I have no idea what I'm doing or why I'm here, but I'm going to trust you. And I've been going to her for a couple of months now and I absolutely love it. I love seeing her. I love how I feel after. So that's that's how we met.

• Speaker #1

  Yeah, it's transformational. And it's great for anxiety. It calms the nervous system down. And when we have a more calm nervous system, then the whole body enters into a self healing mode more readily. And we can walk around in this state all day. And it's really effective at night too, because then we can go to bed and be in a healthier modality. You know, all of our cells are more relaxed. And when our cells are relaxed, they talk to each other more easily. And then they function, the whole body functions all together holistically more easily. So yeah, it's a great modality for pretty much healing anything. I've had a lot of different clients come in for a lot of different things. And it works for everything that I've had to treat so far, especially joint pain. It's really good for joint pain too. Energy is electricity, and it's moving through our body, but we have a lot of joints. our body and a lot of turns and corners and everything. And so energy and our cells can get kind of compiled, you know, just kind of like going down a highway. If you think of it going down a highway and all the cells are just kind of like bumping up against each other and sometimes they get stuck around a corner. And when you apply Reiki and just energy healing to your joints, then it starts to move things because circulation improves and increases. So yeah. It's fascinating how it works.

• Speaker #0

  It's so fascinating. There's so much science behind it. I love talking to you about the science behind it because these are like actually proven scientific statements. Like it's not just a thought.

• Speaker #1

  Right. And it's kind of like, you know, this is how I experience energy. I can see it when I close my eyes. And I'm not the only one that can do that. There's several, there's many people out there that can do that. And the more you practice at it. the easier it becomes to actually see it as well. But what happens is I'll see something and especially when I'm in meditation with myself and I'll come out of meditation and I'll think to myself, that was pretty amazing. There's no way that's real. And because, you know, I'm a pragmatics, I'm a logistical person and I want the proof that, you know, I spent 18 years getting evidence and evidence and evidence for all of my students. And I love that part about teaching. And so When I see parts of the energy body that I've never seen before, I look it up and I research it because I want to know the science behind it because I want to be validated. But I also want to be able to express it and explain it to others in a way that they can understand. And so I think my teacher background just kind of pushes me into the science direction to find those explanations for people.

• Speaker #0

  That's so cool. So you said that you see... new things in the energy body? Yes. What is that? What do you mean by that?

• Speaker #1

  Learning about it because, you know, clients will come in and I'll see pieces of their energy body. I'll go into a meditation and I'll see pieces of my own energy body. And there is a lot of stuff moving through us and around us. Our entire, the entire apparatus of our whole being is so much bigger than this physical body. And we do have electricity running in us and through us. But we also have a system running around us. And it's a physical system in that it's electricity, even though we cannot visibly see it with the way that we're using our brain and our eyes right now. I think that if more of our brain was activated, you know, when I was a kid, they would always tell us the only thing they would ever tell us about the brain was you're using 10% of your brain. And if you were using more of your brain, then you wouldn't be able to handle the input that it's giving you. And so I really... And theorize that if we were using more of our brain, we would all be able to see the energy more readily. Yeah. And think about that. Because there's... If you get down to the science of it, there's energy moving all around us all the time. The air flowing past the wall creates a movement and that's energy. And so you can easily balance a room by changing the geometric shape of the things inside of the room, right? If we went to the corner and all of the corners in the room, we could put what they call, oh, what is it? It's a corner round. So it just creates this like little rounded. bump in the corner so that the air flows around it instead of into the corner and then bumping back down. And that creates an energy balance.

• Speaker #0

  So does your home, do you decorate your home based on that?

• Speaker #1

  Absolutely. Absolutely. And I go around and I do that for clients too, because energy balancing a space makes your own body more, more balanced. You know, you can go into meditation more readily. You can stay balanced more readily. you can just come home and enter your space and relax. you have a physiological effect that you experience when you balance your space. And there are tools too that you can place in the corner of your room to create that effect. Like that lamp over there is a perfect example. If it was a little bit more in the corner, then the effect that the air would have moving around it would be a harmonizing effect for the entire room. And so that's just a piece of geometry and biogeometry that I bring into my work because it's wildly effective.

• Speaker #0

  So when you walk into a room, do you see the different energies in the room?

• Speaker #1

  Sometimes I have. It really depends on the place that I'm at. If there are a lot of people there, it's easier to see it. If it's like a really sacred place, like when I walk into the spaces at Unity Village, it's more easy for me to see things there. And I believe it's because there's already so much energy there. At concerts, it's easier to see. when I walk into like larger places like Walmart, I don't see a lot of it because I don't want to focus on it. You know, if I stood there and I focused on it, I'd probably see more. But when there are a lot of people around, it's easier to see. And I'm also theorizing this, but it has to be because we're all batteries. And when you have more batteries in the room, you have more power in the room. And so, you know, I think it's just a matter of how much electricity is in the space that you're in.

• Speaker #0

  So can you see like bad energies?

• Speaker #1

  It's, I see whatever's there. Energy isn't necessarily bad. Decisions can be labeled as bad and actions can be labeled as bad. At the end of the day, though, whatever that bad action or that bad thought or that bad energy was, there's always going to be a balance to it. And so when we think about bad energy, it's usually a low line frequency. We see a low line frequency there, we can feel the low line frequency and we can raise the vibration of it. And we can apply that type of energy mindset to someone who comes in and let's say they're dealing with grief. They just, let's just say they lost their mom and they just went through a divorce. And so life is unraveling and they don't really know where to put their energy. They don't know how to feel. They don't know how to quote unquote fix themselves. And so they come in and first we have to remind everybody, you're not broken. There's nothing to fix. Everything is sacred. even the bad stuff, right? So we see these low-lying frequencies and we feel them and it feels like they're dragging us down, but we can always raise the vibration of a frequency because the way resonance works is when you have a high, let's just talk in molecules. If you have a high resonating molecule and it gets up here at like 1100 Hertz, and you've got a lower one that's down here at like 325, when those two meet, They're going to meet in the middle to create a balanced resonance. And so the lower resonance will experience a heightening of frequency. And it'll feel really good because it's like, oh, I'm raising my frequency. And then the higher frequency that was at 1100 hertz, it's going to start to drop a little bit. So that molecule is going to start to feel a tug downward and a more earthing effect, right? And so then they meet in the middle and their resonance eventually balances out and they're resonating at the same frequency. We experience that as well with each other. And I think that energy gets labeled bad because of the way that we're using it. And so it's not necessarily that the energy is bad. It's the way that people are expressing it out into their life. And when we think about it like that, people who are expressing things out through their heart, through all of their chakras, you know, into their daily life, and they're making things miserable for themselves and for others. It's really just a piece of them that they haven't looked at yet to create a more harmonizing effect within themselves and then without. into their environment. So, you know, it's all inner work. It always ends up inside of us.

• Speaker #0

  And I feel like that's so hard sometimes.

• Speaker #1

  Oh, it's very, it's the hardest thing.

• Speaker #0

  It's so important. And I feel like I'm just now kind of realizing how important it is and trying my best to figure out how to use that to my advantage. And that's why I love talking to you because then I feel like I'm learning.

• Speaker #1

  Well, good. Yeah. The inner work is definitely, I think that the inner work is the most important. And, you know, I watched my parents both go through this entire lifetime of just plugging along and doing the regular thing, you know, going to work, raising the kid, going on vacations and enjoying friends. And in their later life, they really started to... you know, it was after I moved out. So they were less busy and they really started to focus more on their inner work. And they had always been doing that anyway, but they really upped the game after I moved out and went to college and started to sow my oats in the world. They had a blast with it. And I watched them turn it into beautiful things. They would turn it into beautiful vacations. And I'd be like, oh man, I wish they'd take me on a vacation. But you know, It was like their thing. They really turned it into something beautiful. It was really kind of cool to grow up watching that in my 20s and watching how they grew a human. She moved out and then they got to sow their oats. So yeah, it was fun.

• Speaker #0

  Why didn't they do that when you were younger? Is there a reason?

• Speaker #1

  You know, they did. We did a lot. We switched churches because I grew up Catholic. And then when I was 11, we finally switched to a different church because the... church that we were going to was not where we lived. And so mom and dad needed another church. And so they went to Unity. And it's not Unitarian. Unity is a, I would describe it as more like an agnostic Christian church. And so that is when they really started to dive into their inner work. And they tried to pull me into it when I was in middle school. And I was like, I'm not having anything to do with this. I'm 12 and I need to worry about my hair. And so...

• Speaker #0

  My hair and makeup.

• Speaker #1

  Yeah. And I mean, there were even times where I would take some of my girlfriends to church with me because church was downtown and we lived in Columbia, Missouri. And so, you know, we would go and we would skip. So we were not going to our youth group, like downtown, making jewelry at the head shop down there because that's what was there. So, but now that I'm older, I can definitely see the value in the dedication that they put into themselves. And Yeah, when I think when I moved out, they had more time to turn that dedication into fun things. Because a spiritual journey, it's a journey and it looks different for everybody. But I would say that theirs was pretty, in a broad sense, pretty typical. They spent many, many years working on the inside, you know, and applying it to their jobs. And applying it to their friends' situations and their job situations and even the family situations. And as I grew up... I was just kind of indoctrinated with this mindset of wholeness and the metacognition piece. You know, don't, Jamel, don't think that. Why would you think that? You're just going to call it to you. And back then, dad would say that. I was like, what is he talking about? I'm not calling anybody. And he was right. We magnetize. Every single thought is a magnet. All of our particles are surrounded by a tiny magnetic field, every single one of them. How can we not be magnets for what we think? And so that's the household that I grew up in. It was a very spiritual one. But yeah, after I left for college, they really got to play with it more. So yeah, that's how I grew up.

• Speaker #0

  So you talked about magnets for, or what did you say, magnets for what we think?

• Speaker #1

  Yeah, yeah. Because all of our thoughts are particles. And I think that we have, as a society, We've been misled to think that our thoughts are just like these airy, floaty things that don't really have substance. That is not real at all. Our thoughts are particles. We are creating particles every time we have a thought. And they're so small. Nobody studies them. Maybe there's some people in California. Hopefully, they're studying them. I have so much faith in California. I hope they're doing the work for me. There's just so many scientists down there, over there. but If you think about it, every single thought is a dish of particles, but every single particle also has a magnetic field. We've got an electromagnetic field around all of our particles. There's one around our body. There's one around the planet, and they're all resonating with each other. There's magnet inside of the planet. And so this is what keeps... our fields up and running. It's a part of what keeps our fields up and running. We've got an electrical spark in the middle of a magnet. And what happens when you have power and a magnet together? It keeps the field moving. And I did have an article and I should have printed it out so I could remember who wrote it because there was a study that was just done. And they are playing with in this study, the amount of magnet, a magnetic field that they put around a, like a boson. So they'll put a magnetic field around a boson and see how long they can keep that mag, that like the movement in the particles going. And what they're essentially doing in that experiment is they're trying to make the electrical field that's created by the movement of the particles last longer. And when you apply that to energy work, like if I put my hands on you we are igniting your circulation inside of your body and we're creating a field of energy and our particles start to move your particles move my particles move they all start to balance themselves out now if somebody went around us in the treatment room and placed magnets all the way around us that energy would grow and it would last longer and so the treatment would be more powerful and so you'll see people doing treatments inside of like copper pyramids and you know yeah people are getting pretty creative with it. They're really starting to explore our biology plus the mechanics of the world that is available to us. And when we put the two together, we really see massive healing and sometimes even spontaneous healing effects.

• Speaker #0

  So what would we do about negative thoughts?

• Speaker #1

  We retrain them. Yes. And that's what I coach in. That's what I love to do when I was teaching. because I'm not I got to work with my kiddos one-on-one. I was a special education teacher. And so most of the time it was either one-on-one or small group settings. And when you do that, you can really get down to the details. And the details are the thoughts. I think I can't do it, therefore I cannot. I don't think that I know how to do that, therefore I can't answer this question. And we carry these mindsets into adulthood. And so now as a wellness coach, that's what I work on. I work on metacognition and behavior change because the thought is what you're going to pull to you. And so if what you're pulling to you is something you don't want, you have to start at the root. And the root is starts, it always starts on the inside. It starts with an emotion or just a thought, usually an emotion though.

• Speaker #0

  So how do we retrain those thoughts? Is it kind of one of those things where when I have a negative thought, Let's say I say, I can't do it. Would I have to consciously be like, no, actually, I can do it? Or what does retraining your thoughts look like?

• Speaker #1

  So that's a part of it. The first place to start is to figure out where the thought's coming from. Because there's always a string attached to it. And if you follow the string all the way to the origin, then you'll find an instance, usually in your childhood, where you had that thought or that feeling and emotion first. Like I can't do that idea. Let's say it started when, oh, here's a great example. All of your cousins are jumping off of like this little stone wall and it looks kind of high and you're thinking, I can't do that. And you see all of them jump down and they're fine. And, you know, one of them falls over, but he gets up and he's fine. And you're still thinking, oh, I can't do that. So if you, you know, you don't jump off the wall. And you kind of regret it. And everyone's like, I can't believe you didn't jump off the wall. You know, you walked all the way around. And, you know, then you're kind of like, okay, I got bummed out from that. Well, that is such a simple and innocent experience. You know, almost every kid has experienced something like that. But we take that into our adulthood and it turns into something else. Like, oh, now I have to take my LSAT. I can't do that. Or, oh my gosh, I have to go interview with this job. I can't do that. And what we have to do is we find the route. And we forgive ourselves for it and we heal the root. And, you know, there's a set of tools that I give to my clients for the healing piece. And then we move on to the behavior change piece where you've got tools in place that are going to help you catch that negative thought in the moment. Because, yeah, you do have to go all the way back and heal. And that's cognitive behavioral therapy. You know, everybody is on the cognitive behavioral therapy train. And it's... wildly effective. It works. It's been around forever. I don't remember who coined it and who put it into the textbooks, but it's what we use in the schools. It's what we use in therapy rooms. It's what we should be using in doctor's offices. And that's what helps us get to the bottom of it. And when we know what we're working with, then we can start to retrain our brain. There's a lot of different techniques to do that with.

• Speaker #0

  Yeah. So, like one thing that I really struggle with, and I'm working very hard at healing in therapy, shout out Pam, my lovely therapist who has to put up with all of my healing, love her to death, but is healing from my past. I feel like that's really hard for me because I spend so much time thinking about things that I've done in the past or things that have happened or things that other people have done. to me. So what is healing from the past look like to you?

• Speaker #1

  To me, it's kind of a conglomerate of different things. I really, this sounds kind of weird, but I really like to do ancestral healing because we can send energy and intention back to the past, even into the past when we didn't even exist yet. So I like to do that because it gets things out of the way and kind of sweeps the floor so that you have less to deal with. healing the past in your 3d sense and in your you know in your current state in the now time that looks like cognitive behavioral therapy you know going back finding the root and when you have to heal things a lot of times we like to place blame because healing turns into forgiveness and the first the first thing that people typically think of when they hear the word forgiveness is who did something to me? You know, who did it? Who's to blame? And when you start to get around that and look at the situation, not in the blame mode, but in the mode that, you know, this happened to me. I've, you know, it happened. I can't take it away. I might as well learn from it, make the most of it because it's here and it wouldn't be here if I wasn't supposed to learn from it. So you start to pick apart these things that happened to you. to find that silver lining. And at the same time, you're also doing these other things in the background in your daily routines that are helping you move past negative thinking, like chanting and prayer. That's a really good one because it's so repetitive. A daily meditation, that's a good one. Keeping up with your physiological health, like daily exercise, eating healthy, having somebody to talk to. Journaling, I really like to journal. There's a lot of groups that are kind of popping up. Like I do, I do a couple of women's groups every month. I've got a priestess circle and I've got a women's wellness group and we meet. And when we do groups like that, then we really start to get to the deep questions. And when you start to ask yourself these hard, deep questions on a regular basis, and when you force yourself to make time to process all of your past and all of your current and all of your future desires, then you start to get into the mode of self-forgiveness and self-acceptance. And when you're there, you're able to process things more. And so it just, it creeps up exponentially on you. And sooner or later, you know, like six months in the future, you'll look back and you'll be like, oh my gosh, I can't believe how much I've healed because you're doing your work. And like we even hear our ministers and our preachers say, you better be doing your work. And they're right. They should be telling you that because we all should be doing our work. because if we're not we end up having a society like the one we have today where we're not working in harmony together we're disharmonious so yeah it all starts on the inside and there are a lot of different specific things to do but i

• Speaker #0

  find that self self-reflection and metacognition is really where it starts so for my past relationship i'll just give like a little bit of backstory about my ex-boyfriend, but we were together for about three years and recently broke up. And I think one of the hardest things trying to heal from that for me is forgiving myself for the things that I feel like I did wrong in the relationship or the things that I didn't do. So like, for example, I feel like sometimes I was you really, really hard on him for things that I shouldn't have been. Like, I should have been more understanding. I should have been more just patient and loving with him. And I feel like since that relationship ended, I just have so much regret about some of the things that I didn't do quote unquote right in the relationship. How would healing from this look? Because it's not like I can go back and sit down with him and have a conversation about how I'm sorry. And maybe I would have done this better or that. So I feel like I just spend so much time playing the, oh, I should have, or what if I would have game.

• Speaker #1

  Right. And part of those feelings do go away with time. In that situation, what I would say is, you know, if you were a client coming to me, with this situation, I would say, let's do a workshop session where we really get down to all of those questions. Like what did I do, quote unquote, right in the relationship? And what do I perceive as the things that I did wrong? And make a list of those things, you know, look at them and go through them. Don't go around them. Don't pack them down. So you don't think about them, stare them in the face because the only way forward is through it. And when you do that. You start to learn about yourself and you start to gain confidence and you start to understand, I don't actually need to be with this person. I need to be with myself. And when I get to spend time with this person, that's a blessing. And when you do that on a relationship level, thinking about how you support yourself and thinking about how the other person supports you, start to manage all of those pieces that you got from the other person yourself. Bring those things into your self-care system and keep that self-care system going. Get up every day and have a daily practice. Have a daily spiritual practice. It doesn't have to be religious. It can be. But if you have a daily spiritual practice, you're dedicating that time to yourself. And when you've analyzed these pieces of the relationship that went the way that you wanted to and that went the way that you didn't want them to, You can carry those into your own self-care system. You can carry them into your future relationships. And by doing that, you start to live more authentically and you start to support yourself. One thing that I've learned in marriage, because I have such a strange marriage. It is, it's hilarious. I just, I know that my, I know that my... the ancestors that have passed away and I know that my guides and I know God is like constantly laughing at me and so is my mom she's constantly laughing at me but you know I grew up in a really loving home I was the only child and my parents just loved each other it was a perfect relationship I know and I expected that to be my story and it's not my story at all my husband and I we love each other and I don't think we're ever going to not be together because I've attempted to live not together and it doesn't work. He won't leave. And so I've come to terms with the fact, you know, even if we did get a divorce, we would just get right back together. It would be so pointless and so much money down the drain. But we balance each other out. And what I've learned through this is when you're dealing with things inside of a relationship, which you're always dealing with things inside of a relationship, you forget that you are here. as an autonomous being, and you can source all of the things that you need from within you. And when you're in a relationship, you forget that you can do that on your own. And so you start to source it from the other person and they start to source themselves from you. And that is what creates energy cords. When we keep that exchange of energy going between each other and soon, if you, not soon, I mean, sometimes it happens quickly for individuals that slip into relationships really easy. Sometimes it doesn't. But that energy cord keeps a continuous flow of energy going between the two individuals. And sooner or later, you're sourcing all of your energy from your spouse and they're sourcing all of their energy from you. And when that occurs, you don't have autonomy and sovereignty anymore. You have a unit of two individual people that are trying to create a third thing. Now that works really great when you have two people. that are working autonomously, completely authentically on their own. And then they come together to share their energy in a harmonious way to create a third thing. But we don't usually operate like that within a relationship because we're constantly worrying about what do I need from this person? Why am I in this relationship? Why am I spending my energy on this person? And what am I getting out of it? That's where we come from.

• Speaker #0

  Oh, yeah, totally. And I feel like I did so much of that. I feel like I was very much like he was so good about attending to my needs and meeting me where I was at. And I feel like I wasn't there to meet him where he was as much as I would want to. And I mean, if I've learned anything from this breakup and this relationship that I went through, it's that love isn't. like I will never take love for granted again whether I if we get back together I will look him in the eye and say I will never take the love you gave me for granted again or if it's with another partner just knowing that again I'm not going to take that love for granted again I just think it's so hard for me to heal from that because I have so many regrets about the things that I didn't do right and he deserved that like he deserved that version of me

• Speaker #1

  I just felt like I at the time I wasn't ready to give that version of me anyway well I think I think you make a really good point especially when you say that version of you so now you're in this place where you're learning from that relationship you're learning from the breakup and you're going to be stronger because of that and now you get to you know you're on your own, you get, which is a sweet spot. not only for every woman out there, but for every man too. When you're on your own, you are in the sweet spot of forging the version of yourself that you want to share with the world. And so now that you've learned what you've learned from this relationship, forge that part, you know, forge that version of Ava, because then you'll be able to move forward into whatever relationship you go in. And this is how my coach put it to me, I think last week, because I was talking to her about my... husband and I and you know I think she probably laughs at me the most but she's she put it really well and I knew this I just needed her to say I needed somebody to say it out loud but when you're in a relationship it's not about being one unit it's about being two separate units and walking forward together as two separate units and I am terrible at that because I grew up with a lot of love in my life and my husband is like the ninth of ten kids And so he was like on his own from day one. Like, go fetch your own milk, you know, type of thing. And so he's like completely self-sufficient, has no idea what to do with my smothering love, but he also doesn't want to get rid of it. It's so funny. And so when I think about my relationship with him in terms of moving forward next to him instead of with him, then things really open up for me. And I'm forced to take self-responsibility. And self-responsibility is huge. We don't talk about that on a spiritual level, but it's one of the biggest pieces that we have. It's one of the most potent cards we can play in our life is taking self-responsibility for our actions, thoughts, and words.

• Speaker #0

  So we're actually going to pause this episode right here. And next week, we are going to continue talking. We're going to start off by talking more about energy courts because It's so interesting to me. And I would love to talk about my energy cords connected to my ex-boyfriend or other people in my life. So thank you all for listening. Hopefully you will come back next week and finish this conversation with us. But until then, just remember that Hawaii House giveaway is still going on. Go to our website, www.stopwastingalifepodcast.com. Click on the giveaways tab and there you will find all the ways to be entered into that. And we will see you next week.

• Speaker #2

  Thanks for listening to today's episode of Stop Wasting Your Life. We hope that you are feeling motivated to take charge of your future and start living with purpose, intention, and authenticity. If you enjoyed today's conversation, be sure to leave us a good review, give us a follow, and subscribe to our newsletter. For more information, go to www.stopwastingyourlifepodcast.com and we will see you next week.